Mooning

Au revoir (I hate the French). Since I’m going to be a little preoccupied next weekend doing important things like color coordinating my t-shirts and DVRing my programs I probably won’t have time to recap the wedding and preview the honeymoon till after we get back. Rather than keeping you in limbo for the next 2 weeks, I figured it would only be polite if I gave you a little Costco demo of the honeymoon.

I have obsessive compulsive disorder (also known as (aka) OCD) with planning things. I plan what socks I will wear to work, I planned at what points of ‘Party Rock Anthem’ the bridal party pairs will enter to the second because #weddingdayimshufflin, needless to say I had a ball planning the honeymoon. For those of you who could care less about where we will be getting donuts at on Tuesday 6/21 I will be give you a the ‘www.pinkmoney.com’ version of it here, besides I will be checkin-ing to all the places as well.

We will be heading to the Yay area for a whole lot of nothing. We want to keep the walking to a minimum and wine to a maximum. It is my goal to eat an entire flatbread pizza and pretend to know what good wine is each day we are on vacation. We are spending 2 days in downtown San Francisco, 3 days in Sonoma, and 2 days in Napa… that’s 7 days (a week total) for you Mathematics majors.

Day 1: We leave Sunday morning and fly into SFO, where we will  BART it to the Hotel Abri to take a photo outside the hotel then, take a cab to the Motel 6, where we will really be staying… jk jk. We’ll probably relax, loiter at the mall a little bit, treat myself to some Air Max 95s, buy Danielle a fro-yo, and call it a night.

Day 2: Wake up really early (make Danielle mad because we should be sleeping-in on our honeymoon) catch some continental breakfast bagels, coffee, and read the ‘San Francisco Chronicle’ because I like to switch it up a bit. Wake-up Danielle around 2pm and walk to somewhere where we can say that we saw the Golden Gate Bridge. Then I want to head to Fisherman’s Wharf, I hear it’s kinda dirty and smells like fish but that is expected. I then will gorge myself with all you can eat sushi, as I research ideas for my new food truck concept “Now Sashimi, Now Ya Don’t.”

Day 3: We’ll wake up at break of dawn, just as the sun peaks over the ocean’s horizon… I hear the sun rising in the West is beautiful. We’ll check-out in a jiffy and pick up our economy rental car downstairs. I splurged for the Hyundai Accent to make sure we could fit our luggage in the backseats. Everyone knows that four-doors are a waste of space! We’ll head to the countryside and check-in at the Madrona Manor and spend the night eating and doing “absolutely nothing.

Day 4: Hopefully after so much of nothing I will be able to sleep-in and enjoy some breakfast in bed. I’m packing chocolate chips in my carry-on in case they don’t have any for my Johnny-cakes. Then to mix it up from the wine a little bit it’s time to confuse my palette at Bear Republic Brewery. We didn’t have time to be able to hit Rogue Brewery in the PDX so this will have to suffice. I have yet to plan a dinner location for Day 4 in Sonoma, so your suggestions are welcome.

Day 5: Thursday will be much more stressful for me because I have agreed to be spontaneous at least one day. The plan is to head to downtown Healdsburg (I hear it is just quaint and adorable) to wing it and stop a cute little bakeries for some croissants and other cute shit like that. They probably have a clock-tower we’ll ask a local to take a picture of us under…

Day 6: Now that all uncomfortable stuff is out of the way, it is time to party. Sensual couples massages to the soothing sounds of ‘Enya’ will kick of our stay at The Chantric Inn in Napa. Then we will be boarding the wine train and go on adventure through many-a-vineyards. I’ll probably get all bro-y with a guy who wears socks with sandals and Danielle will probably fall in love with some little flower girl she saw getting ready for a wedding. Dinner at Bottega for Piedmontese Beef Rib-Eye sherry vinegar-honey glazed shallots, truffle-parmigiano fries

Day 7: Rise and Repeat. Mustards for a Mongolian Pork Chop.

Day 8: The sad day. Upon our check-out I’ll drive 55mph on the freeway back to the city. Not because I won’t want it to end yet but because I just like to drive slow… why speed, there’s no rush! We’ll get to the airport and realize we forgot to check-in online and get C boarding.

I’m not sure if I’ll have sig on my beeper in the deep and dark jungles of California, so please don’t get mad if we don’t call you back right away and call you from the pay-phone bank. I apologize ahead of time if checkin more than 5x a day and post mobile uploads more than 3x a day. Anything less than that, you’ll just have to hide me from you feeds. Keep us in your prayers and that I let loose a little bit, otherwise I may not come back with all of my limbs intact.

Teach me how to Twitter, Teach me, Teach me how to Twitter

That video has no relevance to this blog, I just thought I’d try to get everyone in a good mood Monday morning because you can’t not watch this video and not want to #shuffleatwork. If you haven’t noticed lately I have been throwing #ahashtahgonjustaboutanythingandeverything. I’m not stupid and think that it works on Facebook comments, most of my #motivation derives from wanting to piss of @Shukis.

I’ve had a Twitter account for a years but have used it sparingly, not seeing a need for it. I always appreciated its perks of trending topics, following cool people, and retweeting but it wasn’t until the “Facebook to Twitter linkage” capability became available that I really started to utilize it.

As a society, we strive for appreciation and recognition. Facebook acts a forum for people to post whatever they want and have their friends like, bicker, and boast all in one box. Whereas, Twitter was more of a place for straight self-branding with less room for feedback, which is we why post things anyway. If we didn’t want people to see it we wouldn’t post it and we would all be writing in diaries.

You could always “favorite” a tweet, reply, and retweet but those features weren’t as popular as liking and commenting on Facebook. There are a Half Billion people on Facebook so the odds of someone interacting with you are much higher than on Twitter. Twitter is a little more niche, a little more confusing, and took a longer time for people to pick-up on.

I’m all about the here and now, the 15 minutes of fame, and reflecting back on the semi-nostalgic things I can make jokes about that were cool five years ago but really lame now (see Fallout Boy). Twitter provides a great platform for me to conjure up these figments of our recent past and poke fun at how they are no longer relevant.

Most of us peasants have followers that are very similar to our Facebook friends and bots, so why would we post something Facebook for all to see, then go to Twitter and post the very same thing for pretty much the same people to see the same exact thing? But being on a first-handle basis with the world’s most influential people gives us a personal experience that Facebook has yet to conquer.

Twitter gives me that little glimmer of hope that someone like Tony Kornheiser (@MrTonySays) or Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) might catch a glimpse and appreciate one of my @Mackinisms, adopt it virally, spike my followage, and ultimately enable me to become an international social media superhero.

I also recently got a Droid which has allowed me to sync all my accounts much easier than before on the MackBerry. I used to be addicted to the CrackBerry but now I have caught Tydroid (like Typhoid). With everything N* Sync I have am able and willing to post freely, whereas in the past I was willing but less able. Now I’m tweeting, blogging, posting, and check-ining with no regard whatsoever as to how annoying it can be.

How bout Justin’s pants? I remember watching that performance on the Disney Channel right before “Brink.” I used to think Twitter was a fad and I still am not 100% convinced it will be around forever. I think Facebook is eventually going to take over the world with “Branch Out” (Facebook’s Linked in), “Deals” (Facebook’s Groupon), and eventually incorporating a viable music competitor with iTunes or Music Beta.

However, I don’t necessarily think that becoming the Wal-Mart of socialnomics is a good thing. It is a new thing that is still changing everyday and they all have a ridic-a-lic-a-lous amount of room to grow. (I know I’m going back to posting too many videos that I’m probably the one thinks are funny but PLEASE watch this video! It is my second favorite 90s movie, behind “Matilda.”)