Pull up your orange couch, postpone your reading of the back of the cereal box and deter your eyes to this blog because today I’m going to bring you back to your childhood. Today I will be highlighting and analyzing the Top Ten 90s Nickelodeon Shows.
This was our era! When we are retired and crossing kids back and forth across the street in a reflective vest, this is the era that we will look back on. It will not be the 2000s, where we talk about MTV’s “Made: I want to be a hip-hop dancer” or the 2010s with “The Jersey Shore” and their multiple spin-offs. This was our time to shine and I plan on bringing all of the spotlight back for our remembering pleasure just like it was a SNICK Friday.
10. Are You Afraid of the Dark?: I realize this may shock some of you that the SNICK headliner is this far down on the list. And those dropped jaws are justified however, I am a little girl when it comes to scary stuff. I don’t like roller coasters, I don’t like scary movies (realistic or unrealistic) and I DID NOT like Are You Afraid of the Dark?. This was a pivotal time on my pre-adolescence and was the epitome of everything scary. Just listening to this intro (because I wouldn’t watch it) brings back bad memories, so let’s move on.
9. Clarissa Explains It All: Shut up Ferg-breath! Clarissa was a big sister to all of us. She was the ultimate hipster before hipsters existed. She was always on the cutting edge of fashion and was the PG version of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City for boys and girls of all ages. This was Melissa Joan Hart’s first big hit before she could make the jump that all 90s child stars aspired for, from SNICK on Nickelodeon to Sabrina the Teenage Witch on TGIF.
8. My Brother and Me: This show had a profound impact on my life and shaped me into the person I am today. Even though the acting was horrible and the laugh machine was antiquated, it was My Brother and Me that made me want to be black. I wanted to have a haircut like Alfie and have a little brother to pick on like Dee Dee. I remember wearing the same shirts as them, granted in a smaller size but the same shirts nonetheless. And I don’t know what I would have done without Goo and his punch in my life. Who knows I could be listening to country music and in theatre or something if it weren’t for them.
7. Gullah Gullah Island: This was the show we all watched but didn’t tell anyone we watched because it was on “Nick Jr.” It was educational and taught us many life lessons at a young age that “Ren and Stimpy” could not. Maybe a younger sibling wanted to watch it and we would pretend like we wanted to watch the much more mature Hey Arnold but we really didn’t because we wanted to see what Binya Binya Pollywog was up to next.
6. Doug: Doug Funnie was most guys in middle school. He was post-puberty but still awakward. He had his dog, Porkchop, and main squeeze, Skeeter, to help him through the trials and tribulations of maturity. He had the many crushes on Patty Mayonaise and was always getting picked on by Roger Klotz. These were all great characters with great storylines revolving around them but we forget the great music that Doug brought us by the “The Beets.” Hits like “Killer Tofu,” “Bangin’ on a Trash Can,” “Shout Your Lungs Out,” or my all time favorite “I Need More Allowance.”
5. Hey Dude: I was one of those kids that never wanted to go away to sleep-away camp (until I saw Bug Juice but that is a blog for another day) but if I were to go on vacation I wanted to go to The Bar-None Ranch. Everyone just was always having a good time. It was a place where you could forget all of your worries and relax amidst the great Wild West culture.
4. GUTS: Do you have it? I friggin love this show! Mike O’Malley got his big break here on GUTS before he could move on to bigger and better projects like Glee? Conquering the Agro Crag was a goal for not only American kids but kids around the world. It was basically the kids version of Gladiators. It taught us life skills like teamwork, perseverance, and pride for your country. It was just a good overall show and it’s sad that kids these days don’t have anything like GUTS to teach them things like GUTS did. Instead they’re learning how to have sex at 11, watching Skins. Now, that I have hopped off my soapbox, “tell em what they’ve won, Mo”!
3. Rugrats: The best cartoon of all time! I wasn’t a big cartoon fan as a kid but Rugrats broke animation barriers. They were the Jackie Robinson and Billie Jean King of 90s Nickelodeon Shows. The characters made the show for us. Tommy and Angelica Pickles, Chuckie Finster, Phil and Lil DeVille, Dr. Lipschitz, and Reptar. The adventures that the toddlers and infants were going on seemed impossible to us even as we were much older as we still admired them for their bravery.
2. The Secret World of Alex Mack: I never like it when girls wore baseball hats but Larisa Olyenik was the exception to the rule. Although I never stood a chance because she had a crush on Ray in what seemed like every episode. She was the queen of the “90s tom-boy look” and had magic powers. I now see the subconscious and political undertones taking shots at oil spills and the effects on society but it was a great show with a lot more drama that you would expect. She could zap things, morph into liquid, all the while never messing up her hair.
1. Salute Your Shorts: “Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts, and when we think about you, it makes me wanna fart! It’s hold you in our hearts, get it right or pay the price.” This was the best show Nickelodeon ever aired and completely underrated if you ask me. You just cannot replicate characters like Donkey Lips, Ug Lee, ZZ, and Budnick. We could relate to them. There were the bullies, popular girls, jocks, and nerds. They embodied everything we ever went through as kids in a few summers on a lake and the credit is all due to them.