Archive for the ‘Pop Culture’ Category

With the aromatic scent of love still lingering in the air after Valentine’s Day, I felt it was appropriate to celebrate the love that society is so interested in. It is not the love between the lowly peasants like you and I, it is the love that blankets the magazines in line at the grocery stores.

I try not to get to wrapped up in Hollywood love but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t perk my interest from time to time. I don’t care that Spencer Pratt has a new single out or that Lindsay Lohan stole a necklace. I think all celebrity news, good and bad, are categorized together as gossip and I would like to take a very short amount of time to highlight the couples that not only stay out of trouble but seem to have something a little special as well.

10. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones:

With a combined age of 105 years of age, these two love-birds top the list being the oldest couple. They both have aged like fine wines and despite their bumps in the road over the years they are still together. They have battled cancer and divorce and still come out on top, which says a lot about the strength of their relationship.

9. Seal and Heidi Klum:

Seal was definitely kissed by a rose. One might wonder what the world’s most esteemed super model saw in Brit with one name and who wears leather trousers year round but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Her great genes and his lack of jeans have produced two of the cutest little chaps to ever have American/British/German accents. Heidi is obviously the more outspoken half of the team but Seal shows his love in other ways by spending time with the kids and writing her little ditties.

8. A-Rod and Cameron Diaz:

Aww isn’t puppy love just precious? With both of these kids having their own laundry list of past relationships, it is nice to see them show their love for each other even if over 100,000,000 people are watching. I know I would have some insecurities about being hand-fed popcorn in front of the entire country. Their love is still fresh and new, they probably had a fight last night where Cam brought up the past, talking about Justin Timberlake but I think they have what it takes to last. Stay tuned.

7. Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock:

It is nice to see that the spark that was originally ignited on the set of their movie, “The Proposal,” was able to eventually catch fire. The chemistry between them was obvious but the timing was poor as they both had their own significant others. However, everything happens for a reason and it seems as though fate had a little bit to do with these two reconvening at a time in their lives where they both probably needed each other. Awwww.

6. David and Victoria Beckham:

Becks and Posh Spice are to bloody pretty for their own good. They have the most major relationship to come out of Great Britian since Prince Charles and Lady Diana. It is amazing that with both of them being such high-powered stars from their country were able to outlast and outrun the dangerous British paparazzis and that alone has to stand for something. Posh in her 8 inch pumps and Becks in his Adidas Predators have been able to prove all the critics wrong as they take Southern California by storm.

5. Jay-Z and Beyonce:

This video tells it all as Beyonce and Jay-Z truly are the Bonnie and Clyde of our generation. HOV’s thuggish ruggish bones have been able to go from project housing to managing multiple projects at the same time. With both of them having insanely busy schedules they have been able to maintain a stable relationship. They are the exception to the rule concerning long-distance relationships and give hope for everyone else going through what they go through on a much larger scale. They’re down to ride to the very end.

4. Bennifer 2.0:

Normally, I don’t like anything that comes out of Boston but I have a great amount of respect for Ben Affleck. Beniffer 1.0 (with Jennifer Lopez) didn’t work out in the end and the more down to earth, Jennifer Garner seemed to be the right fit for this new catch phrase and family. They seem like they are happy together and it is evident through their interactions and interviews with each other that what they have is different from most.

3. Brangelina:

Their relationship didn’t start of as smoothly as most do, with Brad cheating on Jenifer Anniston with Angelina Jolie while they filmed “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” together but they are by far the most followed celebrity couple. They definitely are a little out there but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a healthy relationship. I’m not convinced they have what it takes to remain together until they both look like “Benjamin Button” but that is just me.

2. Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, and Bruce Willis:

Speaking of followers, Ashton Kutcher isn’t punking anyone when he buys billboard space across the country to get people to follow him on Twitter and it is actually a great investment for him in the long run, but that is a whole other story. Demi is definitely robbing the cradle a little bit with her having kids with Bruce Willis almost the same age as Ashton but to me it the fact that Ashton, Demi, Bruce, and the kids are all on great terms with each other that makes Kutchers, Moores, and Willises the most functional dysfunctional family in Hollywood.

1. Will and Jada Smith:

How friggin’ cute are they? The real Mr. and Mrs. Smith have produced the most adorable family of all time. Trey is one of the best prep wide receivers in the country. Jaden is busy becoming the ultimate triple threat of actor/rapper/ninja. And Willow is busy whipping her hair back and forth making people all over the world wanting to just pinch her cheeks. If my kids can be half as cute, athletic, and talented as they are I will be one happy man.

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Pull up your orange couch, postpone your reading of the back of the cereal box and deter your eyes to this blog because today I’m going to bring you back to your childhood. Today I will be highlighting and analyzing the Top Ten 90s Nickelodeon Shows.

This was our era! When we are retired and crossing kids back and forth across the street in a reflective vest, this is the era that we will look back on. It will not be the 2000s, where we talk about MTV’s “Made: I want to be a hip-hop dancer” or the 2010s with “The Jersey Shore” and their multiple spin-offs. This was our time to shine and I plan on bringing all of the spotlight back for our remembering pleasure just like it was a SNICK Friday.

10. Are You Afraid of the Dark?: I realize this may shock some of you that the SNICK headliner is this far down on the list. And those dropped jaws are justified however, I am a little girl when it comes to scary stuff. I don’t like roller coasters, I don’t like scary movies (realistic or unrealistic) and I DID NOT like Are You Afraid of the Dark?. This was a pivotal time on my pre-adolescence and was the epitome of everything scary. Just listening to this intro (because I wouldn’t watch it) brings back bad memories, so let’s move on.

9. Clarissa Explains It All: Shut up Ferg-breath! Clarissa was a big sister to all of us. She was the ultimate hipster before hipsters existed. She was always on the cutting edge of fashion and was the PG version of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City for boys and girls of all ages. This was Melissa Joan Hart’s first big hit before she could make the jump that all 90s child stars aspired for, from SNICK on Nickelodeon to Sabrina the Teenage Witch on TGIF.

8. My Brother and Me: This show had a profound impact on my life and shaped me into the person I am today. Even though the acting was horrible and the laugh machine was antiquated, it was My Brother and Me that made me want to be black. I wanted to have a haircut like Alfie and have a little brother to pick on like Dee Dee. I remember wearing the same shirts as them, granted in a smaller size but the same shirts nonetheless. And I don’t know what I would have done without Goo and his punch in my life. Who knows I could be listening to country music and in theatre or something if it weren’t for them.

7. Gullah Gullah Island: This was the show we all watched but didn’t tell anyone we watched because it was on “Nick Jr.” It was educational and taught us many life lessons at a young age that “Ren and Stimpy” could not. Maybe a younger sibling wanted to watch it and we would pretend like we wanted to watch the much more mature Hey Arnold but we really didn’t because we wanted to see what Binya Binya Pollywog was up to next.

6. Doug: Doug Funnie was most guys in middle school. He was post-puberty but still awakward. He had his dog, Porkchop, and main squeeze, Skeeter, to help him through the trials and tribulations of maturity. He had the many crushes on Patty Mayonaise and was always getting picked on by Roger Klotz. These were all great characters with great storylines revolving around them but we forget the great music that Doug brought us by the “The Beets.” Hits like “Killer Tofu,” “Bangin’ on a Trash Can,” “Shout Your Lungs Out,” or my all time favorite “I Need More Allowance.”

5. Hey Dude: I was one of those kids that never wanted to go away to sleep-away camp (until I saw Bug Juice but that is a blog for another day) but if I were to go on vacation I wanted to go to The Bar-None Ranch. Everyone just was always having a good time. It was a place where you could forget all of your worries and relax amidst the great Wild West culture.


4. GUTS: Do you have it? I friggin love this show! Mike O’Malley got his big break here on GUTS before he could move on to bigger and better projects like Glee? Conquering the Agro Crag was a goal for not only American kids but kids around the world. It was basically the kids version of Gladiators. It taught us life skills like teamwork, perseverance, and pride for your country. It was just a good overall show and it’s sad that kids these days don’t have anything like GUTS to teach them things like GUTS did. Instead they’re learning how to have sex at 11, watching Skins. Now, that I have hopped off my soapbox, “tell em what they’ve won, Mo”!


3. Rugrats: The best cartoon of all time! I wasn’t a big cartoon fan as a kid but Rugrats broke animation barriers. They were the Jackie Robinson and Billie Jean King of 90s Nickelodeon Shows. The characters made the show for us. Tommy and Angelica Pickles, Chuckie Finster, Phil and Lil DeVille, Dr. Lipschitz, and Reptar. The adventures that the toddlers and infants were going on seemed impossible to us even as we were much older as we still admired them for their bravery.


2. The Secret World of Alex Mack: I never like it when girls wore baseball hats but Larisa Olyenik was the exception to the rule. Although I never stood a chance because she had a crush on Ray in what seemed like every episode. She was the queen of the “90s tom-boy look” and had magic powers. I now see the subconscious and political undertones taking shots at oil spills and the effects on society but it was a great show with a lot more drama that you would expect. She could zap things, morph into liquid, all the while never messing up her hair.


1. Salute Your Shorts: “Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts, and when we think about you, it makes me wanna fart! It’s hold you in our hearts, get it right or pay the price.” This was the best show Nickelodeon ever aired and completely underrated if you ask me. You just cannot replicate characters like Donkey Lips, Ug Lee, ZZ, and Budnick. We could relate to them. There were the bullies, popular girls, jocks, and nerds. They embodied everything we ever went through as kids in a few summers on a lake and the credit is all due to them.

Doppelgänger: ˈdä-pəl-ˌgaŋ-ər, definition: a ghostly counterpart of a living person. This simple German phrase took the Facebook by storm last year and it is bound to blow up even bigger this year. It is the one week of the year where people all over the world change the profile picture to the person or celebrity that people tell them they look like, they think they look like, or the person they wish they looked like.

I have been waiting for Doppelgänger Week on the Facebook for some time now for multiple reasons. The first being I am old and with age comes less frequent pictures. I need a new profile picture and haven’t had very many candid moments that were captured on film. The second reason is that I am a huge creeper and like to see the choices by some people for their ghostly counterpart, both accurate and aspirationaL.

I get it, I mean no one wants to put a picture of someone who us uglier than them for their Doppelgänger but at the same time we as a society don’t want to come off as conceited by putting up a picture of Brad Pitt and Meghan Fox because they have the same hair color. I think they whole idea of Doppelgängers should just be changed to good-looking celebrity that we maybe kinda look like and wish we looked like more.

I also feel like I have a knack for saying who assimilating people to their Doppelgänger and solicited my services on the Facebook yesterday. 5 lucky contestants were chosen as I will try to match them up with a fair Doppelgänger. I know now that some will be better than others but you can be the judge and let me know how well you think I did. First up is model/actor/red-shirt quartback/fraternity brother, Zack Kay.

Channing Tatum

Wow, I really feeling gay right now. To his credit, Zack’s a good lookin’ dude but then again he is wearing Ed Hardy so you have to dock some points but I think my choice was pretty good. Next, up is an even bigger hunk. Your Student Body President, Mr. David Rapoport.

Stephen Colbert/Bob Saget

That one was tough! I was Google imaging Colbert for a while and then tried some others including Bob Saget and settled with this picture. I was looking for younger pictures of both of them but it was tough for these two to look as young and presidential as D-Rap does. Now for a lady. Caity Brewer is a San Diego native so I tried to stick with the So-Cal beachy theme…

Kate Bosworth

Girls are a lot harder than guys I think but the one in the middle from “Blue Crush” is close enough. Next up is Senor Santana. Santana is conveniently the man of many faces. He has a Doppelgänger for just about everyday of the week but I am going to stick to just Monday-Thursday.

Brian Wilson

Silent Bob

Kenny Powers

Lance Agostino

Doppelgänger week has to be such a fun week for a man with such facial versatility to go with his cunning wit. He should be an international man of mystery. Last but not least is fellow blogger-extraordinare, Topher Abelarde.

Vinny Chase (short hair)

Toph was the hardest of all of them, so I chose the picture with goggles to act as an optical illusion, thus validating my choice more. http://cabelarde.wordpress.com/

All of these were chosen at their discretion but without their input. They were completely objective and I was not influenced in any way by Cam Newton’s father, Cecil. Obviously, some are better than others but I can’t win em all. If you would like to featured in the Doppelgänger next year please make it known now as seats are filling up and they are projected to be sold out by 1/31/12, so make sure you get yours fast.

No, not him… This guy!

This Ted Williams is the viral hit that has captivated many Americans in 2011. First and foremost I’m pretty sure I will be the first person on Earth to claim this but I am going as him for Halloween for this year. Dibs! I wish there was a way I could sell this idea to the Halloween costume companies just like my Keenan Cahill idea but whatever…

Ted Williams was recently discovered in Columbus, Ohio where he was a regular on the medians and freeway turnoffs. He would trade his service of saying whatever it is the idle drivers wanted in exchange for some change. A local news reporter caught wind of this story and Ted’s “golden voice” and did a story on him for their local news. The special interest piece aired and the rest is history.

Ted became homeless after college where he studied communications with aspirations of becoming a radio personality. Like many homeless people his problems started with adultery, drugs, and alcohol and once the vices take over the mind and body everything starts going down hill. Up until recently, Ted has been on the streets between from his hometown of Brooklyn to the Midwest for the last ten years of which the last two years he claims to have been sotally tober, I mean totally sober.

The last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind for Ted after the story hit the internet. He was raised by his Mother and feels that it is his love for her and God that he will never go back to his previous ways. He gives all credit to God and that everything is a complete blessing to him because he feels that he has finally begun to rely on Him for strength and that this is the reason he has had so many opportunities.

“The Today Show” has now brought all of these new opportunities to the surface for the Obama look-a-like. He has received offers from the Cleveland Cavaliers to be their announcer, from NFL Films to do their voiceovers, and from Kraft to be the official spokesperson for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Although I’m not sure even LeBron’s old crib will be big enough to house the empire Ted is bound to have with Quicken Loans and the multitude of other offers.

Not only has he gotten a new wardrobe that wasn’t from the Salvation Army but he has also been offered free dental work to fix the twenty years of decay and infections that have gone without treatment. Ted was worried that possible medications could be the gateway for him to fall back into more serious drugs and alcohol but he was reassured by the Dentist that there are alternatives methods of helping with his recovery process.

With all of this attention on him and everyone wanting to mooch off of his newfound celebrity he has found time to visit his mother. He recognizes that his current situation has the ability to take a hold of him and his family and he worries that temptation could come back to haunt him.

He also was introduced back with his ex-wife and family and as one can assume he hasn’t always been the best father and husband. Dr. Phil tries to do a mini-intervention with him to make sure that he doesn’t let his fame get the best of his and that he should use this opportunity to not only make up for past mistakes with family but also to be able to give back to the community to keep him grounded and limiting the opportunity for him to get sucked back in.

It seems as though he already had relapse back to alcohol. It may have been just a lapse of better judgement or he took a moment to loosen up and celebrate but it is reported by many media outlets that he got in a heated argument in a Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood with his daughter. The police were called and they were brought in for questioning although no charges were pressed by either party. No one really knows what happened behind closed doors and we probably never will, we can only hope that it was an argument that was the result of bottled-up emotions instead of the emotions of emptied bottles.

It is obvious that someone in his state needs to stay away from alcohol and drugs and I don’t want to sound like I am buying into all of his stories but I am more compelled to believe him over the daughter. Where the daughter has twenty years of hatred built up against her father and now she has the opportunity to gain financially and mentally by bringing him down because of how much he hurt her.

Like I said, no on really knows that happens but we can only hope and pray for them that they don’t let their family fall apart, it doesn’t matter whose fault it was. If I was Dr. Phil, I’d throw all of them in family therapy because there are obviously a lot of issues that need to be addressed on both parts and with the spotlight turned on high it won’t take much for the 15 minutes of fame to melt away and for him to be back on the streets and for his family to be Father-less again.

That’s right “American Idol” is back and celebrating its 10th season in commission. The show that has people of all shapes and sizes glued to the TV January-May is back on Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8pm on the channel where news is fair and balanced, FOX. I had to throw a little plug in there (even though they are just as biased as the liberal networks).

Anywho, Seacreast and your dog and mine, Randy Jackson, are back but with some new plastic surgery ridden faces. My dude, Ellen, had a short and sweet stint on Idol and is over so she can concentrate on shopping for cardigan sweaters and khaki pants. Our favorite villain, Simon Cowell has decided to retire from his tough job of telling people they were “dreadful” so he can continue to perooze and galavant around Britain and Lake Las Vegas (just as long he wasn’t foreclosed on like the rest of the community) with his adult film star lady friends.

Kara DioGuardi also will not return to the Kodak Theatre this season as she will further her pursuits of writing music and coug-ing around. And thank God Paula Abdul was not asked to return after a season off. While some people found her pleasant, Idol found her salary wasn’t so high it was the clause in her contract requesting that her insurance plan require extensive prescriptions for medicines. Plus she has smaller fish to fry on her new show “Live to Dance,” that we will get to later.

With these star-studded celebrity judges pursuing other endeavors, how will the reality show be able to compensate with a level of credibility as well as star power? Idol thinks they have assembled a team headed up by Aerosmith front man, Steven Tyler. They feel that the spider monkey look-a-like will be able to judge with a sense of experience, while also being able to fill Simon’s shoes with wit and brashness.

If his credibility isn’t enough, Idol really brings the heat with by bringing on a former “In Living Color” back-up dancer? That’s right Jenny from the block, who is more famous for her hind parts than her vocal chords, will be judging the contestants on their ability to sing. We can only hope for some fireworks from her as I’m sure she is bound to get her fair share of criticism of whether or not her opinions should hold water. However, I think we all liked this song…

With these high-powered personalities invading our evenings, this season of Idol has the makings for plenty of awkward drama and drama = laughter for me at least. I could really care less if they find the next singing sensation, as I am more concerned with the next viral hits like “Pants on the Ground,” William Hung, and these other characters.

With Paula Abdul not there to make people feel better about sucking at singing she had gone back to her roots of telling people they suck at dancing where she actually has some credibility in the field. Her new show “Live to Dance” has kicked off its first season Wednesday nights on CBS at 8pm. The season is already well into its 2nd round of semi-finals ( I know I was shocked too).

From the one episode that I have seen, it seems as though LTD is a combination of “American’s Got Talent,” “Americas Best Dance Crew,” “So You Think You Can Dance,” and “General Hospital.” Paula Abdul and two other nameless judges scour the country searching for the next big thing in dance. Whether it is a solo, pair, or full crew, the contestants are judged on their uniqueness and level of difficulty.

I don’t really know what the reactions or ratings of this show look like nor do I care really. I think the show sucks as it isn’t half as good as its derived shows. And not even being half as good as “America’s Got Talent” means it must really suck to me. The show is kind of like a roller coaster for someone who thinks they have motion sickness issues. You don’t think you’ll like it but you have to give it a whirl just to validate your preconceptions of getting sick.

So, watch the show once or better yet DVR it so you can fast forward through the shows and catch the commercials and take your ratings elsewhere to “American Idol” where the first round auditions are bound to produce a few laughs and maybe hook you for the remainder of the season like Carrie Underwood hooked me. Ladies, insert tears here…

Mackin out.

I love me some high-fructose corn syrup and the best way to utilize this sticky sweet is in a carbonated beverage. Right now society is so health conscious using alternative sugars like Aspartame (which is proven to cause cancer is extremely high amounts) and the natural and surprisingly tasty option Astevia.

However, I still am a fat kid that loves soda at heart and there are thousands to choose from. But do not fret as I have done all the dirty work for you as I have made a playlist of my favorite sodas of all time. These icy cold ones are the reason I was “husky” in 6th grade before basketball season and probably the reason I am diving head first into vats of craft beer.

As ushe (that’s “usually” abbreviated, sorry I know it doesn’t roll of the tongue that well) my ten will differ from your ten, your Mom’s ten, the guy she liked in high school’s ten, and his kid who you played soccer with when you were sever years old’s ten. So, please feel free to voice your opinion on the platforms that I may have missed.

10. All Sport: Thank God for this blog! I have gone the last 8 years thinking All Sport was discontinued but thanks to my research I have come to find out it still exists. The last time I had it was in the 9th grade when I drank three bottles prior to basketball intramurals (much different from college intramurals) and puked it all up. But I’ll tell you it was just as good coming up as it was going down. It stands in a class of its own of being a carbonated sports drink that is paired extremely well with CCSD cafeteria chocolate chip cookies.

9. Code Red Mountain Dew: I was never a big fan of original Mountain Dew. I didn’t like the citrusy and grapefruit-like nodes I got when it was swirled in a fine piece of glassware. However, I did like its fruit punch-inspired cousin, Code Red. A Code Red vintage 2004 can be best enjoyed from a Taco Bell accompanied by a Cheesy Gordita Crunch and Beefy Five-Layer Burrito. Pure bliss.

8. Canada Dry Ginger Ale: Made with real bits of panther, I mean ginger, so you know it’s good. This is a mature and sophisticated soft drink that can make a kid look old and an old guy look well.. older. This aromatic drink will leave your taste buds buzzing with excitement even from high altitudes. Which just so happens to be its ideal serving location. Next time you are aboard a Southwest Airlines flight, order a Ginger Ale to wash down your two packs of dry roasted peanuts, it is pairing that will have you truly perturbed if you hit a storm cell or some turbulence causing your drink to swell over its shallow cupholder like a soda tsunami.

7. Club Soda: I know I know. Club Soda is just water with CO2 and sodium. But this chemistry equation is balanced on both sides. Why have water when you can have sparkling water? That’s like choosing a dull diamond over a brilliant one. If there is ever a rare time that I choose to enjoy a nice spirit, I always am sure to cut the bite with fresh soda water straight out of the gun with a lime. It also happens to be the alcoholic drink with the least caloric count, like I’m counting…

6. Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda: This refreshing and sweet treat brings me back to my childhood of frequenting Jewish delicatessens. My Dad was a sucker for a knish and I always went with a Pastrami on Rye. The savoryness of the pastrami was perfectly balanced by the creamy yet subtle sugars of the Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda. Dr. Brown’s can only be found at traditional Jewish delis, so if you can find one I highly suggest you try the Judaic jubilation.

5. Orange Slice: “Who loves orange soda? Kel (and Mackin) loves orange soda.” This is basically candy in a cup. It is highly sweetened and highly delicious. A good friend of mine Chris Dinh, showed me that when used to chase a spiced rum the combination of the two flavors taste just like an orange creamsicle. I actually saw one of these episodes live from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. I was pissed because I wanted to see Mo and the Agro Crag on G.U.T.S. but this was still cool. “Yes, I did I did I did I di-id.”

4. Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper: As if 23 flavors weren’t enough, Dr. Pepper added three more for what would be the most complex flavor profile of all time. It is the only soda that has all categories of the food triangle in one 2-liter bottle. My favorite way to enjoy is with poor-quality delivery pizza. The sub-par pizza really allows the Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper’s flavors to shine through.

3. Surge: This bootleg Moutain Dew was just flat-out a fun drinking experience. It was ridden with sugar and highly caffeineted that had us and the wall ball bouncing off the walls at lunchtime. You have never hit a tetherball so hard as you have after drinking a can of Surge. It was the children’s version of steroids that never really tasted that great but was fun to make fun of your guy friends when they drank it by saying “it lowers your sperm count, it lowers your sperm count.” Like we even knew what that meant at the age of 9.

2. Pepsi: Yep, Pepsi over Coke. I choose to go with more sugar and less carbonation. When drank ice cold, the Pepsi almost burns your tongue a little bit. Pepsi encompasses the next generation. Pepsi is American. To me, it isn’t even a matter of discussion when choosing between Pepsi and Coke. The commericals are ground-breaking and are reminiscent of the holiday season when people are cheery. There are the age-old ads, where Pepsi always wins but here is when you might remember that is my favorite.

1. Sierra Mist: I used to drink be a Sprite drinker but when Sprite signed on Kobe Bryant as their spokesman in the late 1990s I was completely turned off and turned on to a much more viable competitor. The commercials are right in that the only way to accurately describe Sierra Mist is with the phrase “shockingly refreshing.” It leaves little bubbles of goodness dancing on your tongue with joy. The lemon/lime flavor is bold but it doesn’t over power. You can have one a warm Summer’s eve or beside a cozy fireplace in the Winter. Truly balanced, flavorful, and refreshing. Everything a soda should be. Amen!

I don’t really know where I want to go with this blog but being a “Chooseday Tuesday” I figured I would let my mind flow into my index fingers (because I still look at keyboard and type with two fingers) and whatever comes out, well comes out. It is that time of year where college students around the world (on a semester schedule) fill the lounges of Starbucks and invest in 5 Hour Energy Shots.

It wasn’t until my super senior year  of college that I realized what good studying actually was. It involved going to class, paying attention in class, taking decent notes, reviewing them frequently, and going over them again in-depth prior to the final while upon receipt of the study guide. Another good trick is to only study in 45 minute increments because your brain can only focus at full strength for that amount of time.

So, in this educational week it is my fiduciary duty to pass on this knowledge to all students. Study for 45 minutes and then take a 15 minute break. Then repeat. However, I cannot take credit for this wise information and the credit is due to my good friend and world renown studier, Nick Wesling. Now the only remaining question is how will you utilize your 15 minute breaks to maximize the retention of the information applicable to your finals?

That’s where I come in. I have compiled a short play list of non H1N1 viral videos to keep you on your toes and your heart light in what can be a very stressful week. These videos are intended to give you a quick little smile break from studying. However, they do come with a Surgeon General’s warning that they are contagious, so do not watch in excess. Side effects may include: songs stuck in head, random laughter outbursts, and sneezing.

The “Harlem Shake,” the “Stanky Leg,” and the “Douggie” have nothing on this new dance craze. The “Bernie” is the hottest new form of interpretive dance that is sweeping the across the Bible Belt. It is recommended that this dance is done prior to a final to loosen up all of your muscles in preparation for what could be a tense hour or so. The quality is not up to par quite yet but I’m sure it is only a matter of time before Wiz Khalifa and B.o.B. hop in da boof for a remix.

This next video is almost as ridiculous as the “Bernie.” I recently came across three young gentleman from the prestigious University of Oregon, who go by the name of Supwhitchugirl. These three young men make me wish I would have gone to the U of O, met them playing intramural basketball, and thus transformed the trio into a quad because they remind me a lot of myself anf friends. This video has gone viral and become the official “fight video” for the Ducks’ championship run.

This next video is also off from the rap supergroup, Supwitchugirl. Behind the quick lyrics and jerker outfits there is an unheard amount of talent. From the writing of the songs, to the production of the videos, to the search for early 90s Nike windbreakers, these three kids are the reason I want my sons to grow up in the Pacific Northwest, despite never setting foot outside of an airport there.

This other hit from Supwitchugirl brings me right back to my childhood. Well my teenage years, where we would hop the fence of Selma Bartlett Elementary to play basketball on the eight foot hoops. I still believe in  my heart, that when on eight foot hoops, I am the best dunker in the world, pulling creative dunks out of my ass that would have Luke Ridnour and Luke Jackson wishing they showed me around campus on recruiting trips. I also have a special place in my heart for this video because I too still save all of my Champion (brand) NBA jerseys in a kids size 40 from middle school.

This next video comes to you from the best History AP teacher in America, Mr. Jeff Johnson. Mr. Johnson and I hit it off ever since Junior year of high school, when I showed up on the first day of school wearing my Larry Johnson UNLV throwback. From that day forth we had a bond held together by a respect for local basketball excellence. We both held similar positions in UNLV’s student government and he still is UNLV’s #1 fan from the net-cutting days of the early 90s, to the grey days of the Early 2000’s with Mark Dickel, to our current ascending return to greatness.

This last video I will leave you with is something to get you in the holiday mood. It twas the night before Christmas of 2006 and our hearts were open wide and these two comedic and musical geniuses gave us something that was on their mind. They were wise enough to when a gift needs giving and they knew just the one. It’s their dick in a box!

On this Frivolous Friday, I have decided to put my music producer hat on. I am always thinking of different mixes that could be made by songs with similar lyrics rather than beats. By setting them both on a similar beat it would allow for a seamless transition unrecognizable by even the most sober person when the beat drops in Tao at 3am.

Every Christmas, different Christmas albums are released by pop and country music artists but it is on rare occasion that hip-hop or rap artists release a Christmas album. And rightfully so, an entire Christmas album by Soullja Boy might not do to well, but what if it were a compilation album put together by super producer, Mix-Masta MC Mackin? Well, this is no longer a fable and this highly touted project is now in the works for Christmas 2011. Here is a sneak peek of what you can expect.

“Little Drummer Boy” by Jay-Z and Travis Barker: The holes that Travis Barker drills in his snare for an even louder baseline will provide a modern take on a Christmas classic. Jay-Z is mainstream enough now to have this be the first single off the album as it will be performed live on SNL as well. If you can’t imagine the blending of the 2 songs, this will give you an audio sense of what the track will emulate.

“Santa Baby” by Nikki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne: Nikki has completely exploded on the music scene and has already surpassed Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown with only Missy Elliot left to conquer as the best female rapper of all time. She has the delivery and sultriness to make this flirty song a song that you wouldn’t think twice about if it were heard on “Pink Friday.” Wayne will step in da boof on the third verse for his take on “Weezy Baby.”

“The First Noel” by Juelz Santana and Jim Jones: Santana Aightttt! It’s Dipset! These two aren’t the most talented in their craft but they do have their demographic and fan base in New York. So, I would like them to perform this version in Rockefeller Center at the lighting of the tree ceremony. Just imagine “Juelz” being said in the same note as “Noel.”

“Jingle Bells” DJ Khaled and T-Pain: We da best! Who?!?! Jingle Bells! Auto-tune may have died but this holiday staple will resurrect it back to life. The opportunities for a typical Terror Squad beat combined with the bells are exponential. This one is a little hard to describe, so I guess the best way is to just let your mind wander by listening.

“Santa Claus is Coming to Town” Wiz Khalifa: Wiz is just young enough to make this playful song seem like he didn’t have to entirely reinvent the wheel for this “joint.” His creative word play would allow for many puns comparing The North Pole to Pitt, the elves to Taylor Gang, rolling up Christmas list scrolls to something else that Wiz is good at rolling…

“Let It Snow” Girl Talk and Fat Joe feat. Lil Wayne: This song was made famous by Dean Martin and none of the original quality will be lost as Girl Talk mashes up this classic on New Years Eve 2011 live from Prive’ at Planet Hollywood. The performance will start out as fake snow begins to fall from the rafters then Fat Joe slowly but surely jumps behind the boof and makes it rain as Wayne runs through the crowd frantically.

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” by Kanye West and Kid Cudi: The hook will be sung by Kanye’s trademark chipmunked voices. Cudi will provide a little hope for the city of Cleveland because God knows they need it with LeBron gone. They both are a little out there so the result of this track could go anywhere but I’m guessing it will sound somewhat along the lines of this…

“Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” by Justin Bieber and Rihanna: I had throw one pop song on the album. And what a better way to recreate the youth and innocence than with the cutest young pop star since Justin Timberlake wore shiny, light blue Adidas track pants when he performed live from Disney World with N* Sync. Rihanna will hop on at the end in a mini Santa dress to sing some back-up and do her knee wiggle dance.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHVhwcOg6y8&fs=1&hl=en_US

Who doesn’t love a good ole nostalgic bowl of cereal. It seems as though we lose touch with our old cereal-selfs in college. Maybe it is the lack of funds to buy premium brand breakfast foods, or maybe it is the lack of refrigeration capabilities we have when sleeping on people’s’ couches three times a week. But have no fear this void of cereal in your lives is short-lived in most cases.

Upon my graduation, I have found that acquiring Grade-A cereals is much attainable and accessible. In these few months, I have completely revitalized my love for the cereals that bring back memories from my childhood. So many delicious, sugar-coated forms of cornmeal, wheat, and oats to choose from and so many memories to make. I would like to take this time to highlight the top ten cereals that bring back the most fond memories to my taste buds.

10. Lucky Charms: It was these marshmallow ridden treats that made me the fat kid in grades third-fifth. It was these little guys that gave me the idea that when I buy regular marshmallows; to open the bag immediately upon arrival of home to let them go stale for a good month before eating in mass quantities. Lucky Charms are almost more of a dessert than a breakfast meal, we all loved the different seasonal varieties and got super excited when we got an edition with a new charm.

9. Pops: Gotta have my Pops! I most assimilate my memories of Corn Pops in the smaller individually packed bowls at Safekey. The few times I attended Safekey before school I remember Pops being my go-to cereal. This was back when Clark County School District served “real” food not this healthy, organic, high-fructose corn syrup-less shit.  They tasted kind of like kettle corn to me. They were obviously sweet but had just a hint of savory from the corn flavoring.

8. Kix: I turned Kix into what was a mildly healthy cereal into a obsessively obese meal. Looking back now, I remember pouring tablespoon upon tablespoon of granulated sugar onto my Kix. Most of the sugar would filter and sift its way down to the bottom of the bowl where it sat waiting for me to scrape up with the last few bites of Kix. If I were to do this now I would easily gain 4 lbs. per bowl but thankfully due to my high metabolism at the age of 9, it didn’t.

7. Fruit Loops: Toucan Sam made us feel like we never had to eat breakfast alone. Fruit Loops were not only sweet and delicious but they had the best games on the back of the box to occupy us while we hovered over the bowl slurping our loops. We got excited when the new cartoon commercials came, we asked our parents for them when we went grocery shopping at Lucky’s, and got really excited when we tried to open up the waxy bag inside the box but had to ask for help.

6. Apple Jacks: I remember making the argument that Apple Jacks were healthy because they had real bits of apples in the cereal. This was probably in the same age in which I thought wrestling was real because why would Stone Cold Steve Austin try to lose? Or how could a steel chair be fake? Just listen the sound it makes! Anyways, Apple Jacks were bomb.org and I think they are going to be my next purchase.

5. Honeycombs: Honeycombs epitomized what god texture in cereal was all about. The first bite was good when they were still hard and crunchy. The second or medium rare bite (my favorite) had the perfect balance of a crunch and softness that melted in your molars. And even the last few limp bites that had been completely marinated in milk were good because they left the milky finish on our palettes. A true breakfast experience from start to finish.

4. Frosted Flakes: They’re Grrrrrrr-eat! To me Frosted Flakes seemed like the breakfast food for athletes. Tony the Tiger was always hitting the gym for plyometrics, doing cardio on the track, or doing agility drills on the field. My favorite part of Frosted Flakes is crushing them up and using them as a batter for French toast or making them into Christmas wreaths (similar to Rice Krispy Treats). They were a very versatile cereal that could be utilized for many different forms of breakfast/dessert cuisine.

3. Fruity Pebbles. Probably the most feminine of all the cereals. They were small and innocent, sweet and colorful, and went well with our preceding Flinstone’s vitamins. The short allotted time we had to eat these was nearly euphoric. They shit on Coco Pebbles, Cupcake Pebbles are for well cupcakes, and trumped every other kid of pebble. The best is when you get a huge spoonful and let the pebs completely envelope your whole oral cavity until they evaporated and were ready for the next bite. Not to mention they were the only breakfast food to have their own Nike shoe.

2. Great Value Frosted Shredded Wheat: Shocker! Why Wal-Mart brand over the high-end Frosted Mini-Wheats? Well, The Great Value brand really does give you greater value. The generic brand beats the name brand because they are a more dense product, they have a higher sugar content, and usually have bigger wheats because they weren’t broken up properly. I bought a box this morning to have while tailgating this blog and the best way to eat is in the colder months by putting them in the microwave for a warming and delicious treat.

1. Cap’n Crunch Crunch Berries: Soooooo good! Like stupid good! While writing this I pondered what the actual flavor of the Cap’n Crunch was and just before I was about to “Google it” I stopped myself because I realized I didn’t want to know. They are almost a peanutbuttery, honey, creamy flavor that I don’t want to know because the mystery is half the fun. The Crunch Berries have an amazing texture that is just bursting with flavor. And the combination of the two flavors melting together provides for a true dining experience that is in a league of its own.

It is that TIME of the year again (pun intended) to select the person of 2010. The person is voted on from a collection of candidates all bringing their talents to wherever they are from. These people are good, bad, indifferent, brave, and controversial. It is not a Nobel Prize or MVP award, I look it as more of a Prom Queen. You may not like or agree with the Prom Queen but she definitely got the most attention and made herself more known (or cheated) than anyone else on court.

I consider myself a fairly informed and moderately educated individual and am only familiar with a little more than half of the following candidates. So, my vote will be casted upon the previous knowledge I already have on that particular individual. I have attached the following link for you to select your favorite person. Here are the people who I have heard of and why I feel as though they are or are not deserving of this honor.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2028734,00.html

Glenn Beck: This Fox News political analyst is most recently known for hitting the pavement prior to the midterm election rallying conservatives and Tea Partiers. He did work but it wasn’t nearly as big as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s concert series, so for that he doesn’t make the cut.

The Chilean Miners: My dudes! I don’t know if there was a better story than this in 2010. 33 “minors stuck down a shaft” lol for 10 weeks. They are my runners-up for 2010 though. While their story is compelling it will forgotten before 2010 is even over.

Lady Gaga: Not a fan. I liked her on MTV’s “Boiling Points” and it has been all downhill from there. I think she is a big hypocrite who craves her newfound attention and will stop at nothing until he gets everything she wants.

Tony Hayward: Probably the biggest screw-up of the year. He was the guy in charge of BP ruining The Gulf of Mexico and then instead of handling it correctly he tried to dance around the media and turned it into a PR nightmare.

Hu Jintao: No he’s not the guy villain from “Rush Hour.” He’s the guy bringing China into the 21st Century and Westernizing his country. I don’t like the guy from an American standpoint but he points out areas in which we need to diversify our economy.

LeBron James: Finally, someone I can write a book about. He is now one of the most hated people in the world, right up there with terrorists and Oprah. He did everything wrong from a PR stance. If he wanted to take his talents to South Beach that’s cool but he should have done it respectfully and he would be selling a lot more shoes. The funny thing is that if he would have stayed in Cleveland people would have loved him. Gone to Chi-town, no one would have cared. NYC would have gave him Derek Jeter’s thrown, but because he still hangs out with his moochers from back in the day, no one outside of Dade County likes the dude.

Steve Jobs: I got several Apple products in 2o1o. Did you?

David and Charles Koch: These Libertarian billionaire brothers are the reason Republicans won The House and completely altered the political climate. They funded the Tea Party to be able to put their people up for election and now in office. Like it or not, these guys made a big splash behind the scenes.

Barack Obama: He’s done a lot, he hasn’t done a lot. I don’t really want to go there right now, so I leave you with this…

Sarah Palin: Definitely the best lookin’ lady in politics. She’s got her own reality TV show now which disappointed me because I thought it would go more into her political life, instead it looks more like she is a sales associate at REI. All she does is fish, climb rocks, and shoot stuff. She’s not bad to look at though…

Nancy Pelosi: Not as cute as Palin. See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf: He is actually the cousin of former Vancouver Grizzlie, Shareef Abdur Rahim. Not really but if you don’t think he is a radical or extremist you need to take a look at this.

http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2010/08/explosive-in-faisals-own-words.html

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert: I don’t always agree with these dudes but they both did the damn thing this year. Jon Stewart is way more credible and funny I feel and whether you like Colbert or not he kinda made a mockery out of our government with this…

The Unemployed American: Nuff said. Call Ed.

Mark Zuckerberg: Winner winner chicken parm dinner. We all have learned after seeing “The Social Network” that the youngest billionaire in the world is a huge doucher. But whatever, he’s getting his or was it the Winklevi’s? Either way, I think he has made 2010 his bitch as Facebook takes over the world and he gets my vote for TIME Person of the Year. So, go ahead and log in if you haven;t already.

http://www.facebook.com/