Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

In the wake of all the hype stemming from the release of the acts for Coachella 2011, I decided to do a little research. First, I had never even heard of Coachella before and found out that it was a music festival near Palm Springs, CA similar to a modern version of Woodstock where hipsters come together and camp out for 3 days while doing shrooms and trippin out to 162 (if I counted correctly) different acts.

Of the hundred plus different acts I recognized Kanye, Wiz, Lauryn Hill, The Black Keys, and like 4 DJs. I understand that their lineup stretches across a multitude of genres of music, bringing thousands of people with different tastes of music and different types of marijuana from afar to a single patch of grass. However, this obviously isn’t necessarily my cup of tea.

Therefore, I have devised a set list for the miniscule percentage of the population like me who only get their music from listening to and “Tiger Beat Magazine.” Mackinchella 2011 will feature the latest in “hip-pop” music ranging from Drake to 5ive. Aside from the presumably obvious headliners from this genre that will be in attendance, I would like to focus on the openers and more forgotten acts of the last 10 years. I have gone into great detail so that you don’t have to familiarize yourself again with the music of our recent past and childhood.

Nick Lachey

I feel that SAE, Nick Lachey, is completely underrated as an artist and a husband. He was the driving force behind 98 Degrees and had a decent solo career while riding the coattails of Jessica Simpson. This song is obviously about the infamous breakup over Buffalo Wings but is a great song nonetheless. Swear to God, I would listen to this song on repeat for hours on end while sleeping on stand, lifeguarding at Caesars Palace.”Falling faster, barely breathing, give me something to believe in.” I mean they just don’t make music like this anymore.

BB Mak

“Back Here” is very similar to “What’s left of me” melodically and that is why I like it. Actually, I’m lying, I don’t even really know what melody means, but it reminds of this song a little a bit. I remember sitting around brainstorming songs for serenades in 2006 and when this little gem hit me, it had the panties flying from Lied Library to the old SU. I don’t know if it was our fake British accents our Pete’s sweet and innocent guitar skills but this song just leaves you feeling all tingly inside.

Backstreet Boys

Danielle isn’t exactly ecstatic that this is my favorite BSB song of all time but at the same time she can’t help but singing along with me. “Black and Blue” was their best album to date that is if their collaboration with NKOTB doesn’t knock them off. It had the nice flamenco guitar, plenty of bass to make your trunk rattle rolling down MLK Jr Blvd, and even enough snare for Eminem’s headphones.


This rap joint has a nice summatime/bubble gum pop feel to it, right? Fabo is one of my all time favorite rappers. Some of the bars he comes up with is absolutely unheard of. This song almost made me propose by saying to Danielle “But since you been ‘aksin’ bout da friends, how’d you like it if bof ah names had Mackin on da end”? Almost, but I felt like I didn’t wanna feel like a wigger when I was old telling people how I proposed.

Spin Doctors

This is just one of those where if it catches you in a good mood on shuffle you will pretend to know the lyrics by scating along but in reality you are off. Then the only lyrics you do know are “And if you wanna call me baby, just go ahead now baby.” That’s it. You can pretend to know the rest by mumbling or looking away when you bob your head (that’s what I do) but everyone will know you don’t know them because they don’t know them either.

En Vogue

En Vogue was Destiny’s Child when Kelly Rowland was still in playing “Skip It” and Beyonce was taping up Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters to the back of her door. I feel like this song is what Cougar and Jaguar divorcees worldwide, play when they have “tupperware parties” once they’re all red wine drunk and feeling slippery. They had some pipes on them and could really belt out some high and powerful notes across the whole Mackinchella Valley.

Brandy and Monica

I feel like “The Boy is Mine” was the theme song for most girls in middle school to act like they were cooler than they were. They would act a little more ghetto than they were and pretend to have serious relationships with guys they hugged for the first time walking into 4th period and break up with them before 2:11pm. They then would run home and call their boyfriends on their personal land lines and try to “punt” the other girls off of AIM.


If this song never came out back in the day, and came out tomorrow it would still be hot. People think T-Pain was the Godfather of Auto-tune when in reality it is Cher, that Jay-Z should be writing songs about. Especially with all of the house and techno beats infused into hip-pop music today, you could hear this song on the radio and think it was Ke$ha.


Goosebumps right? Yeah, Ashley Parker Angel does that to me too. This song is for the long awaitied return of the 2nd best form of man-made and manufactured music from Orlando They weren’t the best boy bad ever but let’s be honest they had some stiff competition and at least this song was a lot better than “Liquid Dreams” lol.

I hope this little snippet gives you an idea of the type of music you can listen to in a fun and completely drug-free environment. The event will be hosted by Snooki from “The Jersey Shore” and Rex Ryan from the New York Jets (now that he has plenty of spare time) and Sean Hannity. While the acts’ groupies are switching out the instruments (not that any of these acts play instruments, but their bands do) one TV screens we will be showing episodes of “Boy Meets World” in 3D, “PTI,” and “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Drives.”

Tickets go on sale 1/31/11 and can be purchased from any Foot Locker location or online at Be sure to get your tickets fast because hotel rooms will fill up quick. Thank you.


When I first dreamt up this task I knew it would be a tough one at hand. I am a fan of hip hop and boy band pop. I listen traditional rock music against my will in bars I normally don’t want to be in. However, I know that I am not the masses and most would not agree with taste in music. I seek to appease my readers and did a lot of research trying to find a route in which I can run with to compile an accurate set list of bands. I went back several eras finding bands I’ve heard of, heard their songs, but would not be able to connect the dots if you put me on “Jeopardy.”

The count is 0-2 and I have a pitch to waste so I’m going to throw junk. This once fastball up and in is now going to be a backdoor curve. Rather than highlighting bands I know little about for historical accuracy, I have decided to throw the Jack in the Box wrapper out the window and do what I like. And I had like the rap/rock fusion and semi-punk rock music of the 90s and early 2000s. With musical political correctness aside, I basically give you the top ten artists I guess I could listen to if I was on a road trip with someone I didn’t know in the car so I wouldn’t pitch a fit.

10. Limpbizkit: Fred Durst and the rest of the nookies are the inspiration for my obsession with collecting hats and for that reason alone they make the list. They had a few hits on TRL, stirred it up a little with Carson and Christina, and most importantly featured rap artists. My favorite song of them is “Rollin” because the video had cute girls wearing Yankee hats which sent my 7th grade raging hormones into overdrive.

9. Nirvana: Suicide is the most selfish thing someone could ever do to their friends and family so I am throwing them on the list for the other members of the band not the smelly guy who dated Courtney Love. I can’t understand a word they say in their songs but they were the pop culture pioneers of the grunge punk era or what from what I’ve been told. Which honestly is something I could give two shitzus about. I appreciate a good sense of humor and without them, Weird Al wouldn’t have been able to do this…

8. Oasis: From what I hear frontman, Liam Gallagher, was a real diva and could have really used a Snickers. They were British, so I guess that accounts for most of the arrogance. I don’t know if they were a one hit wonder to everyone else but I only know one of their songs and it is a “one hit wonderwall.” This one always comes on at the right time during my runs where I’m already in the zone (thanks to DJ Khaled) but I’m needing a mellow song to bring my heart rate back down. It also reminds me of Serenades 2008…

7. Hootie and the Blowfish: Darius Rucker may have vetured out to be the Jackie Robinson of country music but he will forever be Hootie in our hearts. I appreciate their sense of humor and their AFC fan affiliation, the Miami Dolphins. How funny would it be if you knew a guy who still dressed like their drummer? The fettucine hair and backwards hat he got at GAP, right? You’ve seen him at gas stations before and laughed to yourself

6. Bush: Lol. Sorry, I like Gavin Rossdale for some reason. Maybe it was because he looked like he showered at least once a week or maybe it was his guitar riffs. Either way for some reason I act like I love this song when it comes on the radio (because God knows I wouldnt waste money on iTunes downloading it) and I pretend to know all the lyrics as I bang my head and realize all I know is “breathe in – breathe out, breathe in – breathe out.”

5. Matchbox 20: When you think of Matchbox 20, you think of driving in the car to the grocery store with your Mom. They were that typical 90s Mom-rock that was a little too old for us to understand but we still sang along to the choruses. Elementary school wasn’t mature enough for us yet to have control over the radio stations yet so Mix 94.1 it was and we heard this song every hour and a half, on the hour and a half.

4. Beastie Boys: I actually love the Beastie Boys and feel they are a hip hop artist more than rock but I felt weird not putting them on the list. I always felt white people were almost a little racist towards them because they were Jews from New York who rapped, while they were just doing what they loved. I almost even waited in line over night senior year of high school for their MTV $2 Bill Concert series but decided to go play basketball at 24 instead. They have so many good songs so it is hard for me to choose but this one is probably my favorite.

3.  Red Hot Chili Peppers: My first remembrance of a Pepper is in “Point Break” when Johnny Utah is chasing Anthony Keidis’ character and he accidentally shoots himself in the foot. For someone who listens to rap you would think I would be able to make out his lyrics but he was even to quick for me sometimes. They are legends to me and really really good to people who know rock and roll music. Is it weird that I feel like a douche even saying the phrase “rock n roll” or even “rock” for that matter?

2. Blink 182: These were the awkward middle school years which made you choose your path for life. You were either going to be normal or wear JNCO jeans that covered your Soap shoes for the rest of your life. Hopefully you’re not wearing those while reading this and if you are, I apologize. Travis Barker is the best drummer ever and I used to have a huge crush on his ex-wife before she was his wife, Shanna Moakler, when I would watch her on “Pacific Blue” Saturday mornings.

Also, notice how few tattoos they all had at the time before the blew up.

1. Linkin Park: Once again it took a rapper to wide my musical horizons to music that was made with real drums instead of a drum machine and keyboard. I wasn’t one of those rebellious “Screw you Dad” kids but their music reached out to all those kids and I thank them for that. A lot of those kids would be in a bad place right now if they weren’t able to cope with their “issues” if it weren’t for Linkin Park. I used to listen to their mash-up album with Jay-Z , “Collision Course” (that I downloaded on Napster) on repeat in the stock room of Champs. This is one of my favorite songs of all time because of the creativity and because H.O.V.A. refers to me when he says “Not for nothin’ ever happen, I be forever Mackin.” I see you too Jigga, I see you bruh.

I don’t really know where I want to go with this blog but being a “Chooseday Tuesday” I figured I would let my mind flow into my index fingers (because I still look at keyboard and type with two fingers) and whatever comes out, well comes out. It is that time of year where college students around the world (on a semester schedule) fill the lounges of Starbucks and invest in 5 Hour Energy Shots.

It wasn’t until my super senior year  of college that I realized what good studying actually was. It involved going to class, paying attention in class, taking decent notes, reviewing them frequently, and going over them again in-depth prior to the final while upon receipt of the study guide. Another good trick is to only study in 45 minute increments because your brain can only focus at full strength for that amount of time.

So, in this educational week it is my fiduciary duty to pass on this knowledge to all students. Study for 45 minutes and then take a 15 minute break. Then repeat. However, I cannot take credit for this wise information and the credit is due to my good friend and world renown studier, Nick Wesling. Now the only remaining question is how will you utilize your 15 minute breaks to maximize the retention of the information applicable to your finals?

That’s where I come in. I have compiled a short play list of non H1N1 viral videos to keep you on your toes and your heart light in what can be a very stressful week. These videos are intended to give you a quick little smile break from studying. However, they do come with a Surgeon General’s warning that they are contagious, so do not watch in excess. Side effects may include: songs stuck in head, random laughter outbursts, and sneezing.

The “Harlem Shake,” the “Stanky Leg,” and the “Douggie” have nothing on this new dance craze. The “Bernie” is the hottest new form of interpretive dance that is sweeping the across the Bible Belt. It is recommended that this dance is done prior to a final to loosen up all of your muscles in preparation for what could be a tense hour or so. The quality is not up to par quite yet but I’m sure it is only a matter of time before Wiz Khalifa and B.o.B. hop in da boof for a remix.

This next video is almost as ridiculous as the “Bernie.” I recently came across three young gentleman from the prestigious University of Oregon, who go by the name of Supwhitchugirl. These three young men make me wish I would have gone to the U of O, met them playing intramural basketball, and thus transformed the trio into a quad because they remind me a lot of myself anf friends. This video has gone viral and become the official “fight video” for the Ducks’ championship run.

This next video is also off from the rap supergroup, Supwitchugirl. Behind the quick lyrics and jerker outfits there is an unheard amount of talent. From the writing of the songs, to the production of the videos, to the search for early 90s Nike windbreakers, these three kids are the reason I want my sons to grow up in the Pacific Northwest, despite never setting foot outside of an airport there.

This other hit from Supwitchugirl brings me right back to my childhood. Well my teenage years, where we would hop the fence of Selma Bartlett Elementary to play basketball on the eight foot hoops. I still believe in  my heart, that when on eight foot hoops, I am the best dunker in the world, pulling creative dunks out of my ass that would have Luke Ridnour and Luke Jackson wishing they showed me around campus on recruiting trips. I also have a special place in my heart for this video because I too still save all of my Champion (brand) NBA jerseys in a kids size 40 from middle school.

This next video comes to you from the best History AP teacher in America, Mr. Jeff Johnson. Mr. Johnson and I hit it off ever since Junior year of high school, when I showed up on the first day of school wearing my Larry Johnson UNLV throwback. From that day forth we had a bond held together by a respect for local basketball excellence. We both held similar positions in UNLV’s student government and he still is UNLV’s #1 fan from the net-cutting days of the early 90s, to the grey days of the Early 2000’s with Mark Dickel, to our current ascending return to greatness.

This last video I will leave you with is something to get you in the holiday mood. It twas the night before Christmas of 2006 and our hearts were open wide and these two comedic and musical geniuses gave us something that was on their mind. They were wise enough to when a gift needs giving and they knew just the one. It’s their dick in a box!

On this Frivolous Friday, I have decided to put my music producer hat on. I am always thinking of different mixes that could be made by songs with similar lyrics rather than beats. By setting them both on a similar beat it would allow for a seamless transition unrecognizable by even the most sober person when the beat drops in Tao at 3am.

Every Christmas, different Christmas albums are released by pop and country music artists but it is on rare occasion that hip-hop or rap artists release a Christmas album. And rightfully so, an entire Christmas album by Soullja Boy might not do to well, but what if it were a compilation album put together by super producer, Mix-Masta MC Mackin? Well, this is no longer a fable and this highly touted project is now in the works for Christmas 2011. Here is a sneak peek of what you can expect.

“Little Drummer Boy” by Jay-Z and Travis Barker: The holes that Travis Barker drills in his snare for an even louder baseline will provide a modern take on a Christmas classic. Jay-Z is mainstream enough now to have this be the first single off the album as it will be performed live on SNL as well. If you can’t imagine the blending of the 2 songs, this will give you an audio sense of what the track will emulate.

“Santa Baby” by Nikki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne: Nikki has completely exploded on the music scene and has already surpassed Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown with only Missy Elliot left to conquer as the best female rapper of all time. She has the delivery and sultriness to make this flirty song a song that you wouldn’t think twice about if it were heard on “Pink Friday.” Wayne will step in da boof on the third verse for his take on “Weezy Baby.”

“The First Noel” by Juelz Santana and Jim Jones: Santana Aightttt! It’s Dipset! These two aren’t the most talented in their craft but they do have their demographic and fan base in New York. So, I would like them to perform this version in Rockefeller Center at the lighting of the tree ceremony. Just imagine “Juelz” being said in the same note as “Noel.”

“Jingle Bells” DJ Khaled and T-Pain: We da best! Who?!?! Jingle Bells! Auto-tune may have died but this holiday staple will resurrect it back to life. The opportunities for a typical Terror Squad beat combined with the bells are exponential. This one is a little hard to describe, so I guess the best way is to just let your mind wander by listening.

“Santa Claus is Coming to Town” Wiz Khalifa: Wiz is just young enough to make this playful song seem like he didn’t have to entirely reinvent the wheel for this “joint.” His creative word play would allow for many puns comparing The North Pole to Pitt, the elves to Taylor Gang, rolling up Christmas list scrolls to something else that Wiz is good at rolling…

“Let It Snow” Girl Talk and Fat Joe feat. Lil Wayne: This song was made famous by Dean Martin and none of the original quality will be lost as Girl Talk mashes up this classic on New Years Eve 2011 live from Prive’ at Planet Hollywood. The performance will start out as fake snow begins to fall from the rafters then Fat Joe slowly but surely jumps behind the boof and makes it rain as Wayne runs through the crowd frantically.

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” by Kanye West and Kid Cudi: The hook will be sung by Kanye’s trademark chipmunked voices. Cudi will provide a little hope for the city of Cleveland because God knows they need it with LeBron gone. They both are a little out there so the result of this track could go anywhere but I’m guessing it will sound somewhat along the lines of this…

“Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” by Justin Bieber and Rihanna: I had throw one pop song on the album. And what a better way to recreate the youth and innocence than with the cutest young pop star since Justin Timberlake wore shiny, light blue Adidas track pants when he performed live from Disney World with N* Sync. Rihanna will hop on at the end in a mini Santa dress to sing some back-up and do her knee wiggle dance.


It is that TIME of the year again (pun intended) to select the person of 2010. The person is voted on from a collection of candidates all bringing their talents to wherever they are from. These people are good, bad, indifferent, brave, and controversial. It is not a Nobel Prize or MVP award, I look it as more of a Prom Queen. You may not like or agree with the Prom Queen but she definitely got the most attention and made herself more known (or cheated) than anyone else on court.

I consider myself a fairly informed and moderately educated individual and am only familiar with a little more than half of the following candidates. So, my vote will be casted upon the previous knowledge I already have on that particular individual. I have attached the following link for you to select your favorite person. Here are the people who I have heard of and why I feel as though they are or are not deserving of this honor.,29569,2028734,00.html

Glenn Beck: This Fox News political analyst is most recently known for hitting the pavement prior to the midterm election rallying conservatives and Tea Partiers. He did work but it wasn’t nearly as big as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s concert series, so for that he doesn’t make the cut.

The Chilean Miners: My dudes! I don’t know if there was a better story than this in 2010. 33 “minors stuck down a shaft” lol for 10 weeks. They are my runners-up for 2010 though. While their story is compelling it will forgotten before 2010 is even over.

Lady Gaga: Not a fan. I liked her on MTV’s “Boiling Points” and it has been all downhill from there. I think she is a big hypocrite who craves her newfound attention and will stop at nothing until he gets everything she wants.

Tony Hayward: Probably the biggest screw-up of the year. He was the guy in charge of BP ruining The Gulf of Mexico and then instead of handling it correctly he tried to dance around the media and turned it into a PR nightmare.

Hu Jintao: No he’s not the guy villain from “Rush Hour.” He’s the guy bringing China into the 21st Century and Westernizing his country. I don’t like the guy from an American standpoint but he points out areas in which we need to diversify our economy.

LeBron James: Finally, someone I can write a book about. He is now one of the most hated people in the world, right up there with terrorists and Oprah. He did everything wrong from a PR stance. If he wanted to take his talents to South Beach that’s cool but he should have done it respectfully and he would be selling a lot more shoes. The funny thing is that if he would have stayed in Cleveland people would have loved him. Gone to Chi-town, no one would have cared. NYC would have gave him Derek Jeter’s thrown, but because he still hangs out with his moochers from back in the day, no one outside of Dade County likes the dude.

Steve Jobs: I got several Apple products in 2o1o. Did you?

David and Charles Koch: These Libertarian billionaire brothers are the reason Republicans won The House and completely altered the political climate. They funded the Tea Party to be able to put their people up for election and now in office. Like it or not, these guys made a big splash behind the scenes.

Barack Obama: He’s done a lot, he hasn’t done a lot. I don’t really want to go there right now, so I leave you with this…

Sarah Palin: Definitely the best lookin’ lady in politics. She’s got her own reality TV show now which disappointed me because I thought it would go more into her political life, instead it looks more like she is a sales associate at REI. All she does is fish, climb rocks, and shoot stuff. She’s not bad to look at though…

Nancy Pelosi: Not as cute as Palin. See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf: He is actually the cousin of former Vancouver Grizzlie, Shareef Abdur Rahim. Not really but if you don’t think he is a radical or extremist you need to take a look at this.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert: I don’t always agree with these dudes but they both did the damn thing this year. Jon Stewart is way more credible and funny I feel and whether you like Colbert or not he kinda made a mockery out of our government with this…

The Unemployed American: Nuff said. Call Ed.

Mark Zuckerberg: Winner winner chicken parm dinner. We all have learned after seeing “The Social Network” that the youngest billionaire in the world is a huge doucher. But whatever, he’s getting his or was it the Winklevi’s? Either way, I think he has made 2010 his bitch as Facebook takes over the world and he gets my vote for TIME Person of the Year. So, go ahead and log in if you haven;t already.

Apple Mac-kin

Posted: September 24, 2010 in Music, Pop Culture

Now, I have been semi-prejudiced against Mac products ever since they had the computers with the colored monitors. I thought they were kinda girly back then at The Boys and Girls Club and I stuck with the boyish Hewlett Packard. As I progressed as young man and Apple grew astronomically into this global brand, I was still skeptical to hop on board. It took me forever to even get an iPod Mini 2 years after it was released, which I then gave away because as much as I liked music I hated to download it.

More recently I have been against the Apple brand because they seemed too liberal for my conservative views. I think someone’s phone says a lot about a person and I could personally identify with a MackBerry. I liked its keyboard and its practical business functions in comparison to its arch enemy the iPhone (sometimes confused for a children’s toy). However, recent developments in my electronic life have brought me to the dark side.

Danielle and I were given a Macbook by our dear Jewish friend, Kelly Blaustein. To whom we are very grateful for and will be taking her out on the town, wining and dining with Manischewitz and potato latkes. Neither here nor there – it is pretty cool, especially since it was $Free.99 sucka. This coupled with my new recreational lifestyle of halfsy marathon training; I have found that music makes the run a lot more exciting. Pandora on my MackBerry was sufficient, but I wanted that extra boost to incorporate power songs, workout playlists, and being able to track my runs. This all becomes possible with the Nike +.

Nike + coupled with the iPod nano I Indian-took back from Danielle has given me this ability. Running is much more educational and interesting with these technologies at my fingertips. I also have recently come across the new iPod Nano touch. It has much more features than its predecessor, my favorite of which is its clip. The clip is cool because you can clip it your clothes or to a watch-band accessory, so that the iPod functions as a running watch.

That being said, I would love if someone were to make the purchase of the new iPod Nano Touch for me, along with its watch band accessory. If no one goes in together on that, I would be happy with iTunes gift cards. If that is still asking too much, I would be perfectly happy with someone with similar music tastes (hip hop and 90’s pop only) to sync their iTunes with mine. My last resort would be my accepting of a suggestion of how to download free music without messing up my computer or getting porn spam sent to me every night at 12:47am. That says a lot for me because it goes against everything I believe in. I also would accept pizookies from BJ’s or any cool Mac-kin tricks. Thank you for you time and God Bless America.

Top 10 Greatest Rappers of All Time!!!

Posted: September 22, 2010 in Music

As some of you may know, I love to embrace hip hop culture and rarely listen non-rap music. The only instances would be for me secretly and now out of the closet love for boy bands of the 90s. Backstreet Boys’ “Everybody” will get you just as amped as Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” or Eminem’s Lose Yourself and there is no better way to kickoff a weekend than with N* Sync’s “Just Got Paid.” But I digress, this blog is dedicated to the streets. DJ DeeJay, Pooooooooookie! DJ Green, I see you bruh! This will highlight my favorite rappers of my lifetime. It will pay its respects to some rappers of old skool and new. I will also point out what I believe to be their best work. I understand everyone’s list will be different but this is mine and I encourage lots of shit talking – making fun of my list and explaining why everyone else’s list is dumb and why yours is accurate. So please feel free to make the comment box your bitch and enjoy ☺ 

10. Busta Rhymes: I would classify Busta Bus as the King of the Mid School. He wasn’t really around in the mid 80’s, he isn’t on top of his game now but he really flourished in the late 90’s early 2000’s, which is when he dropped “Break Ya Kneck” on everyone’s heads. This was such a good hype song and I still remember bobbin my head quickly to it in the women’s locker room before our basketball games against the Roadrunners of Vo-Tech. I think the main contributor to his dismay was the cutting of his ever long dreads. I think by shakin them during verses actually allowed him to spit hotter and fasta fiya like Dylon. But he now rocks a fade and is approaching his 40s and should focus his efforts more on producing? However, I do commend him for his contributions to the game. 

9. Outkast: Outkast, was the most diverse artist of our era. While both having faster styles, they both were able to switch it up and slow it down for more mainstream songs. Big Boi represented the traditional country hood of the ATL, while Andre 3000 and his style represented their constituents on Neptune. He is the only dude who could wear what he wore and still get respect in the rap game. My favorite song of theirs was “Rosa Parks.” Not only was it educational but it had a good beat, and addressed current events. I think this song should be taught instead of U.S. History for all CCSD juniors. 

8. Fabolous: F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S, let’s ride. Quite possible one of the most clever rappers of our era. He could play with words like no one else and make them come out like buttah. He was the best thing that every happened to Desert Storm and the third best to ever come out of the infamous BK. Stand up. My favorite song of Fabo is “Breathe.” This is the ultimate workout song. Whether you’re the dude at the gym wearing jeans and an Under Armour pretending to work out or running a marathon. The beat, the climax, the puns, stupid good! 

7. Kanye West: The tighter his pants get, the more controversy he stirs up. I particularly like the older version of Kanye West when he thought his shit did stink. But current personality aside, dude can produce. He started producing Jay-Z’s “Lucipher” on The Black Album where he coined his beats of having high pitched voices sped up for the hooks. Then came out with “Through the Wire” after a near fatal car accident, where if you listen to it now you can really tell that he was spitting through wires when you hear hish shlur. He has definitely had his fair share of ups and downs and my favorite up probably isn’t in line with yours but my favorite song of his is “Get Em High.” 

6. Eminem: The only white boy on the list. I actually think he is more liked by black people than he is white. While he does represent us in a contingent where we are pretty much nonexistent, I actually think people overcompensate and think he is better than he really is because he is white. But color aside he is one of the greatest writers of all time. From buses in the three one third to tour buses in LA, he is probably a lot better when he write angrily more so than humorously. I think his funnier songs or more novelty and for publicity, whereas his deeper songs are in fact better. 

5. Nas: I never have and probably never will be a huge Nas fan. I always sided with the jiggaman and never really listened to him as much as I should have. But I do understand that he is amazing at what he does and very musically talented. I also respect that when I met him and Kelis while doing a shift of “Apollo Towel” at Caesar’s Palace, he wasn’t a doucher when most probably would have been. My favorite song of his was “Got yourself” and I specifically remember listening to it with Joey Fiorentini on the bus on the way home from lost baseball games. 

4. Tupac: Tupac falls in the same category form me as Nas. I never really liked him either. I was East Side over West Side all day because Biggie had nothing to do with his first or second shooting. I hate to break it to you Pac, but rolling around former UNLV Offensive Lineman, Suge Knight, probably isn’t the crowd that Afeni was too happy about. I thought Tupac was hypocrite by living his “Thug Life” with songs like “Bonnie and Clyde” and the next single being “Dear Mama.” Just wasn’t a fan, but I do realize that he was talented, dumb and young, but talented and my favorite song of his was “Changes.” 

3. Notorious B.I.G.: Yes, we can see you Biggie. From slangin rocks to Sebastian Telfair when he was like 11 in Brooklyn, to being a millionaire at 19 is pretty impressive. The movie depicting his life was awesome. I can say that he was probably the best freestyler on the list and had the best flow. While he was a little overweight, he never sounded tired or out of breath, which was astounding to me. We all try to recite his lyrics and always run out of breath. His best work was “Hypnotize.” This may sound like a pop culture cop-out, but there isn’t another song made that same year or prior to that is still played as frequently today in clubs and on the radio. 

2. Lil’ Wayne: Actually a college graduate if you didn’t know. Dwayne Carter is probably the most popular rapper now and is probably more popular than Biggie was in his hay day. He literally was a child prodigy by rapping at the same level now as he was when he was 13. When Cash Money picked him up, he was on the cover of many orange and green cd cases but no one really ever embraced him because were too bust listening to garbage from Juvenile and B.G. Well, now he is on top of the world, and doing it from a jail cell. I’m not exactly sure what his best song is but my favorite is “Hustler Music,” many of you probably haven’t heard it but please do, especially the acapella verse at the very end. The thing that sets him apart from everyone else is his delivery. He is second on my list but second to none in delivery and word play. 

1. Jay-Z: HOVA. Sean Carter. Jigga. The best of all time! He did come back like Jordan wearin the 45, not to play games with us but to aim at us. He has the hottest chick in the game wearin his chain, did crossover albums with Linkin Park, currently touring with U2, and it is safe to say that no one could do it betta. He has put out literally 20 albums, of which my favorite is “The Black Album.” I would bring it to work at Champs with me every day and bump it in the stockroom on repeat for months. He is so versatile lyrically and actually came up rapping hella fast. The first song I remember of his is “Money Ain’t a Thang” but my favorite song of his was “99 Problems.” I thought it was different from any song I had ever heard. Rick Rubin who produced the Red Hot Chili Peppers, produced it and it still is amazing today. It almost gets me teary eyed.

VMAs Review

Posted: September 13, 2010 in Music, Pop Culture, Television

In chronological order:

The start of the show was amazing with Em. Dark hair and dark lyrics are definitely his way back to success. The venue was sick, although RiRi’s outfit was not. The Li-lo bit was genius. My dude Ellen was hilarious as usual. Gaga looked fuggin dumb as usual. Each outfit was less practical and more horrendous than the next. But she finally did something worthy of reporting by thanking God and supporting our troops.

Bam Margera hashe the moshte dishgushting acshent I have ever heard. Kim K looked hot, I see you Ray-J and Reggie. I want a J Bieber Varsity jacket. Ke$ha is not cute and orange-glo didn’t make her any cuter. Trey Songz is tight at everything and I would have much rather have seen him perform over The Doucher Formally Known As Ursher. I thought he ruined the cool light show during his performance by getting in the way.

Katy Perry could have looked way cuter and Nikki Minoj well… She got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk. I wanna be Deadmau5′ hype man. I’m not a fan of the British chick with red hair. Tay-Swizz is just a sweetie pie that I want her to babysit my kids even though I’m not a big fan of that whole pale/red lipstick/wavy hair look. It also would have been way tighter if Yezzy did a collabo with her to make up for last year. Even though I’m mad cause he hasn’t done anything musically lately, Justin Timberlake looked SEXY!!!

Drizzy Drake’s performance was fancy huh? Congratulations to Swizz Beats for making a beat without a whistle. MJB is 43 and not cool anymore. The Colombian chick was annoying and Forever should have one best hip hop video. LVA alum, Neyo looked tight but is a d. Bruno Mars is soooooooooo tight?! I feel like I discovered him but soooooooooo tight. B.o.B really is the homie and I did not expect Hayley Williams to look like the love child of Vitamin C and Cyndi Lauper.

Who was the girl right after that performance with the same haircut as the Russian in Rocky IV? Looks like Bieber Fever is starting to get to someone’s head lol. Linkin Park’s performance was dope for the cinematography and they are still my favorite band ever. Good for you Cher. Gaga had beef carpacio yamaka on lol. Kanye’s performance was ehh but Clipse was tight.

In summary, this year’s VMAs were kinda bland. The Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon were more compelling, dramatic, and entertaining. The performances lacked creativity, the presenters lacked star power. And Chelsea Lately is in her 40s. And yes I text (not texted, I researched it) my vote for J Bieber for video of the year.

Btw World of Jenks is awesome.

Good joke right? Like that’ll ever happen. Justin, why must you do this to us. Future Sex/Love Sounds was amazing! But it was 4 friggin years ago and you haven’t released anything that wasn’t a wack single with Jamie Foxx or a shanked tee shot since.

No, I’m not knocking the Shriners work, it’s good to see that there still are some potheads in Hollywood doing their philanthropic duties. But a supporting cast in Alpha Dog and sony commercials do not procure a 4 year hiatus. Yeah, you have the new Facebook movie coming out but the world thinks you’re the lead and they’re going to be pretty upset when they find out you’re not portraying the richest AEPi in the world.

Bruh! I’m just saying stop messin around with these little projects, put your skinny tie and vest on, and get back in the booth. Females, gays, and straight men around (like myself) are waiting for another album!

Top 10 90s Mediocre Pop Stars

Posted: August 29, 2010 in Music, Pop Culture

10. Willa Ford – She she wanted to be bad. Well, she wasn’t bad, wasn’t good, but was just mediocre enough to make the list. She had one hit, tried hitting on Carson Daly and then was outty. She tried to pull of the slutty image but it was overshadowed by her butterface.

9. Cleopatra – They’re comin atcha! They have the most street cred on the list for the mere fact that when all of their braids stretched cumulatively, they were able to stretch from New York to London, where they just so happened to hale from.

8. Joey McIntrye – Probably the biggest bust of the list. Some know him as the JaMarcus Russell of pop music. Post-NKOTB Joey could have been JT before JT was JT. He was the soft spoken, cute, curlyheaded, heartthrob we were yearning for in 1996.

7. S Club 7 – Personally, I think they sucked. I am strong disagreement of co-ed pop groups. And to be honest, I only put them on the lisr because the have a “7” in their name.

6. Robbie Williams – Definitely the most arrogant chap of the bunch. He had one smashing hit that was major major, dated supermodels, and had his castle featured on MTV Cribs. So, I feel like he was entitled for a grade of 65%.

5. Dream – The original Bad Girls of Bad Boy. They were the first unsuccessful group Diddy produced and they sure as hell weren’t the last. However, I do want to give them credit where credit is due. And a little something inside of me says the paved the way for the future of female pop mediocrity. Such as: 3LW, The Pussycat Dolls, and Danity Kane.

4. Jordan Knight – Ahh the JC Chasez of mediocrity if you will. Jordan had a couple of World Premiers and Making the Videos on TRL, but those were sadly the last times they were aired. Because well they were wack. Instead of “hangin tough” like his boy Donnie, he chose to stay in Boston and drink too many Sam Adams Summer Ales, which we all know are high in calories with all of those grains of Paradise. Basically he got fat.

3. 5ive – 5ive is my personal favorite on the list. And I still listen to Slam Dunk the Funk when I hop fences and play dunkball on elementary school hoops. They had good voices, attitude, and were popular worldwide for 3 months, literally. I still remember when I got their self-titled album for 50% off at K-Mart because I bought Lauryn Hill and they cashier said I could get one more for half off. Not to mention the fact that their song was featured on the Disney Channel Original Movie, “Smart House.”

2. Lou Bega – Lou Bega was actually the first Latin American Artist in the post Ricky Martin era, to have a Billboard #1 single and then vanish into thin air, unlike a Criss Angel Magic tricks because you can see the ropes. Now, I don’t really know if that is true or not but now “Mambo Number 5″ will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

1. 2gether – When people think of 2gether, they think of ” You Plus Sign Me Equal Sign Us”! But most people do not think back to the their origin. They were brought together to mock the many other boy bands of the times in an MTV movie but in reality became more popular than most boy bands. I put them at the top of the list because I think it’s funny that Mickey Park at 30 years old ended up making more money than everyone else on this list and is still acting as a character on MTV’s show “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”.