Mooning

Au revoir (I hate the French). Since I’m going to be a little preoccupied next weekend doing important things like color coordinating my t-shirts and DVRing my programs I probably won’t have time to recap the wedding and preview the honeymoon till after we get back. Rather than keeping you in limbo for the next 2 weeks, I figured it would only be polite if I gave you a little Costco demo of the honeymoon.

I have obsessive compulsive disorder (also known as (aka) OCD) with planning things. I plan what socks I will wear to work, I planned at what points of ‘Party Rock Anthem’ the bridal party pairs will enter to the second because #weddingdayimshufflin, needless to say I had a ball planning the honeymoon. For those of you who could care less about where we will be getting donuts at on Tuesday 6/21 I will be give you a the ‘www.pinkmoney.com’ version of it here, besides I will be checkin-ing to all the places as well.

We will be heading to the Yay area for a whole lot of nothing. We want to keep the walking to a minimum and wine to a maximum. It is my goal to eat an entire flatbread pizza and pretend to know what good wine is each day we are on vacation. We are spending 2 days in downtown San Francisco, 3 days in Sonoma, and 2 days in Napa… that’s 7 days (a week total) for you Mathematics majors.

Day 1: We leave Sunday morning and fly into SFO, where we will  BART it to the Hotel Abri to take a photo outside the hotel then, take a cab to the Motel 6, where we will really be staying… jk jk. We’ll probably relax, loiter at the mall a little bit, treat myself to some Air Max 95s, buy Danielle a fro-yo, and call it a night.

Day 2: Wake up really early (make Danielle mad because we should be sleeping-in on our honeymoon) catch some continental breakfast bagels, coffee, and read the ‘San Francisco Chronicle’ because I like to switch it up a bit. Wake-up Danielle around 2pm and walk to somewhere where we can say that we saw the Golden Gate Bridge. Then I want to head to Fisherman’s Wharf, I hear it’s kinda dirty and smells like fish but that is expected. I then will gorge myself with all you can eat sushi, as I research ideas for my new food truck concept “Now Sashimi, Now Ya Don’t.”

Day 3: We’ll wake up at break of dawn, just as the sun peaks over the ocean’s horizon… I hear the sun rising in the West is beautiful. We’ll check-out in a jiffy and pick up our economy rental car downstairs. I splurged for the Hyundai Accent to make sure we could fit our luggage in the backseats. Everyone knows that four-doors are a waste of space! We’ll head to the countryside and check-in at the Madrona Manor and spend the night eating and doing “absolutely nothing.

Day 4: Hopefully after so much of nothing I will be able to sleep-in and enjoy some breakfast in bed. I’m packing chocolate chips in my carry-on in case they don’t have any for my Johnny-cakes. Then to mix it up from the wine a little bit it’s time to confuse my palette at Bear Republic Brewery. We didn’t have time to be able to hit Rogue Brewery in the PDX so this will have to suffice. I have yet to plan a dinner location for Day 4 in Sonoma, so your suggestions are welcome.

Day 5: Thursday will be much more stressful for me because I have agreed to be spontaneous at least one day. The plan is to head to downtown Healdsburg (I hear it is just quaint and adorable) to wing it and stop a cute little bakeries for some croissants and other cute shit like that. They probably have a clock-tower we’ll ask a local to take a picture of us under…

Day 6: Now that all uncomfortable stuff is out of the way, it is time to party. Sensual couples massages to the soothing sounds of ‘Enya’ will kick of our stay at The Chantric Inn in Napa. Then we will be boarding the wine train and go on adventure through many-a-vineyards. I’ll probably get all bro-y with a guy who wears socks with sandals and Danielle will probably fall in love with some little flower girl she saw getting ready for a wedding. Dinner at Bottega for Piedmontese Beef Rib-Eye sherry vinegar-honey glazed shallots, truffle-parmigiano fries

Day 7: Rise and Repeat. Mustards for a Mongolian Pork Chop.

Day 8: The sad day. Upon our check-out I’ll drive 55mph on the freeway back to the city. Not because I won’t want it to end yet but because I just like to drive slow… why speed, there’s no rush! We’ll get to the airport and realize we forgot to check-in online and get C boarding.

I’m not sure if I’ll have sig on my beeper in the deep and dark jungles of California, so please don’t get mad if we don’t call you back right away and call you from the pay-phone bank. I apologize ahead of time if checkin more than 5x a day and post mobile uploads more than 3x a day. Anything less than that, you’ll just have to hide me from you feeds. Keep us in your prayers and that I let loose a little bit, otherwise I may not come back with all of my limbs intact.