Posts Tagged ‘Wiz Khalifa’

In the wake of all the hype stemming from the release of the acts for Coachella 2011, I decided to do a little research. First, I had never even heard of Coachella before and found out that it was a music festival near Palm Springs, CA similar to a modern version of Woodstock where hipsters come together and camp out for 3 days while doing shrooms and trippin out to 162 (if I counted correctly) different acts.

Of the hundred plus different acts I recognized Kanye, Wiz, Lauryn Hill, The Black Keys, and like 4 DJs. I understand that their lineup stretches across a multitude of genres of music, bringing thousands of people with different tastes of music and different types of marijuana from afar to a single patch of grass. However, this obviously isn’t necessarily my cup of tea.

Therefore, I have devised a set list for the miniscule percentage of the population like me who only get their music from listening to www.hotnewhiphop.com and “Tiger Beat Magazine.” Mackinchella 2011 will feature the latest in “hip-pop” music ranging from Drake to 5ive. Aside from the presumably obvious headliners from this genre that will be in attendance, I would like to focus on the openers and more forgotten acts of the last 10 years. I have gone into great detail so that you don’t have to familiarize yourself again with the music of our recent past and childhood.

Nick Lachey

I feel that SAE, Nick Lachey, is completely underrated as an artist and a husband. He was the driving force behind 98 Degrees and had a decent solo career while riding the coattails of Jessica Simpson. This song is obviously about the infamous breakup over Buffalo Wings but is a great song nonetheless. Swear to God, I would listen to this song on repeat for hours on end while sleeping on stand, lifeguarding at Caesars Palace.”Falling faster, barely breathing, give me something to believe in.” I mean they just don’t make music like this anymore.

BB Mak

“Back Here” is very similar to “What’s left of me” melodically and that is why I like it. Actually, I’m lying, I don’t even really know what melody means, but it reminds of this song a little a bit. I remember sitting around brainstorming songs for serenades in 2006 and when this little gem hit me, it had the panties flying from Lied Library to the old SU. I don’t know if it was our fake British accents our Pete’s sweet and innocent guitar skills but this song just leaves you feeling all tingly inside.

Backstreet Boys

Danielle isn’t exactly ecstatic that this is my favorite BSB song of all time but at the same time she can’t help but singing along with me. “Black and Blue” was their best album to date that is if their collaboration with NKOTB doesn’t knock them off. It had the nice flamenco guitar, plenty of bass to make your trunk rattle rolling down MLK Jr Blvd, and even enough snare for Eminem’s headphones.

Fabolous

This rap joint has a nice summatime/bubble gum pop feel to it, right? Fabo is one of my all time favorite rappers. Some of the bars he comes up with is absolutely unheard of. This song almost made me propose by saying to Danielle “But since you been ‘aksin’ bout da friends, how’d you like it if bof ah names had Mackin on da end”? Almost, but I felt like I didn’t wanna feel like a wigger when I was old telling people how I proposed.

Spin Doctors

This is just one of those where if it catches you in a good mood on shuffle you will pretend to know the lyrics by scating along but in reality you are off. Then the only lyrics you do know are “And if you wanna call me baby, just go ahead now baby.” That’s it. You can pretend to know the rest by mumbling or looking away when you bob your head (that’s what I do) but everyone will know you don’t know them because they don’t know them either.

En Vogue

En Vogue was Destiny’s Child when Kelly Rowland was still in playing “Skip It” and Beyonce was taping up Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters to the back of her door. I feel like this song is what Cougar and Jaguar divorcees worldwide, play when they have “tupperware parties” once they’re all red wine drunk and feeling slippery. They had some pipes on them and could really belt out some high and powerful notes across the whole Mackinchella Valley.

Brandy and Monica

I feel like “The Boy is Mine” was the theme song for most girls in middle school to act like they were cooler than they were. They would act a little more ghetto than they were and pretend to have serious relationships with guys they hugged for the first time walking into 4th period and break up with them before 2:11pm. They then would run home and call their boyfriends on their personal land lines and try to “punt” the other girls off of AIM.

Cher

If this song never came out back in the day, and came out tomorrow it would still be hot. People think T-Pain was the Godfather of Auto-tune when in reality it is Cher, that Jay-Z should be writing songs about. Especially with all of the house and techno beats infused into hip-pop music today, you could hear this song on the radio and think it was Ke$ha.

O-Town

Goosebumps right? Yeah, Ashley Parker Angel does that to me too. This song is for the long awaitied return of the 2nd best form of man-made and manufactured music from Orlando www.okmagazine.com/2011/01/o-town-boys-are-reuniting-making-new-music/. They weren’t the best boy bad ever but let’s be honest they had some stiff competition and at least this song was a lot better than “Liquid Dreams” lol.

I hope this little snippet gives you an idea of the type of music you can listen to in a fun and completely drug-free environment. The event will be hosted by Snooki from “The Jersey Shore” and Rex Ryan from the New York Jets (now that he has plenty of spare time) and Sean Hannity. While the acts’ groupies are switching out the instruments (not that any of these acts play instruments, but their bands do) one TV screens we will be showing episodes of “Boy Meets World” in 3D, “PTI,” and “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Drives.”

Tickets go on sale 1/31/11 and can be purchased from any Foot Locker location or online at www.jonmackin.wordpress.com. Be sure to get your tickets fast because hotel rooms will fill up quick. Thank you.

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The playoffs are here and you know what that means… A lot of research into picks and predictions that will never pan out. But that is what makes sports beautiful. If everyone who knew a lot about or studied matchups could easily predict the outcome then there would be no fun it watching the suspense of the game because you would know what happens anyway. And with America’s most popular sport heading into the post-season, America will be on the edge of their bar stools for the next month or so.

I try not to take these predictions or myself for that matter too seriously so please take these picks with a large grain of Kosher salt because Kosher salt is the best for grilling. Not to mention my preseason picks had the Vikings and the Cowboys in the NFC ship with the Cowboys winning it all. I’ll break down my possible playoff scenarios in hopes that they play out over time but there is a very good chance they won’t knowing that kickers still play a vital role in close games with their right futbol boots.

No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 3 Indianapolis Colts (10-6): I along with the rest of the world was spellbound by the Jets going into this season with the remainder of the hype from last season and from “Hard Knocks” and picked them to go to the AFC Championship this year. They are always teetering on the verge of cocky and arrogant rather than the air of confidence they try to exude. As clutch as Peyton is I think that injuries hurt them too much this year to find their Emperor’s Groove and Jets have just too much talent. Jets win 27-21.

No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 4 Kansas City Chiefs (10-6): I also picked the Ravens to play the Jets in AFC ship at the beginning of the year but I don’t know if that will still work out for them. I am still not convinced that the Chiefs have more than 12 fans. I think they ship in Oregon Duck fans for home games to make Arrowhead as loud as it gets. They lost to the Raiders twice and are inconsistent on defense. I think the Ravens could win playing one player at each level of defense. Suggs’ ugly mug rushing Cassel, Ray Lewis’ eye black breaking bones, and Ed Reed’s beard scaring receivers away. Ravens win 17-10.

No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 4 Seattle Seahawks (7-9): As dumb as having a 7-9 Divisonal Champs sounds I am of the belief that the Seahawks deserve a spot in the offs. You play to win the game! Especially divisional games and you cannot take theirs away. That being said I think the Saints should have been given home field but whatever. I don’t know anything about their new Quarterback, Charlie Whitehurst, they have the worst running game in the NFL, but they do have the 12th man with their fans. Saints don’t have the “swagga like us” like last year with Breesy and Reggie Bush being injured much of the season. Saints win 35-21.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 3 Philadelphia Eagles (10-6): This is my favorite game of the week. The Philadelphia Vick’s have an offense that is just fun to watch. Aaron Rodgers is old school quarterback who can sling it. I think DeSean Jackson is not a nice person. Clay Matthews looks like the Ultimate Warrior. I used to be a huge wrestling fan so I’m emotionally picking Green Bay to win even though I can’t fathom Vick losing this week in a real barn burner. Packers win 30-27.

No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4): The Steelers are the best franchise in all of football and they win be handlin’ business on their bye week preparing for this game. These two defenses should provide for a lot of big hits, not a lot of mental mistakes, and I think it will all come down to quarterback play. Flacco has proven a lot in his young career but I don’t think it is enough to outshine Big Ben who has a lot riding on this game. The Steelers one flaw may be their receiving core but I think Big Ben will make it twerk. If Roethlisberger can stay out of bars this next week, Steelers win 24-17.

No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 1 New England Patriots (14-2): Tom Brady is just too Tom Brady for the Jets to win. He knows how to closeout games, especially when it’s cold because of his new Uggs endorsement. He is the epitome of a leader and should lead the Pats to the Promiseland. However, you never know what Jets team you’re going to get and I think they are a more talented team and if all their stars align they could steal a win. It will probably be snowing though, so it will probably be hard to see the stars. Patriots win 35-24.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 1 Atlanta Falcons (13-3): I rooted for the Falcons all season with Michael Turner racking up fantasy points for me but I just don’t know if they have the WOW factor. If their offense was a stock portfolio they would be well diversified and low risk/low reward Mutual Fund. Green Bay has had a lot of injuries but just seems to win football games and the just look like the NFL and they excite me. Matty Ice is nice at home but I am not sure he is playoff tested yet and I am going with the upset. Packers win in a close one 30-27.

No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 2 Chicago Bears (11-5): I cannot stand the Bears and am still shocked they are a playoff team. I feel like Jay Cutler pulls wins out of nowhere that leaves Bears fans shocked every game. I guess that is a good thing for them but I think he is whipped by Kristen Cavallari. As much as I would like to see him lose and see the Dem Saints “Who Dat’n” up and down Mardi Gras again this year but I just can’t go against the numbers. I hope I am wrong with this but Bears win 21-10.

No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) at at No. 1 New England Patriots (14-2): This is my Super Bowl. To me, this is the best two teams in the best conference going at it down after down. The best offense vs the best defense. The best offensive player in the game vs the best defensive player in the game. I don’t know how much water their game earlier this season holds but if this game happens it will be one for the ages. Defense wins championships and I think the Steelers have a competitive edge even against the smartest man to ever wear a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off in New England in December. Steelers win 21-14.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 2 Chicago Bears (11-5): Teddy Bruschi likes the Packers and so do I. They seem to get better at something every week and hopefully by this time they will be talked about more than the Cowboys head coaching vacancy on SportsCenter. Adam Schefter reports that Jay Cutler doesn’t know if he can play because he has to pick Kristen up from the mall. He’ll show up right before game time and will get lit up by Clay Matthews just like last week as he shows him what real NFC North football looks like.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4): This Super Bowl has “Campbell’s Chunky Soup Commerical” written all over it. These teams just have girth, if I can say that in a non-sexual way. These two teams are so manly that they will make the half-time performers, The Black Eyed Peas, look like the Spice Girls. Then maybe they’ll have Pittsburgh native, Wiz Khalifa, perform “Black and Yellow” at halftime while “s-ing a b” instead and Green Bay can find some local polka band to perform on their behalf. I would eat a brat to this game as the Steelers win in “the house that Jerry built”  27-21. Yeeeeeah uh huh you know what it is!

I come to you all on this “My Life Monday” with a little conundrum that is currently occupying my brain. I have been in a long-term relationship with Verizon for about 10 years now. We have had our ups and downs over the course of our relationship just like any other and I am officially changing our relationship status to “it’s complicated.”

Having the best network for the last decade just isn’t enough anymore. I need Verizon to put just as much into this relationship as I am and I can honestly say “it’s not me, it’s you.” For the last 5 years I have been dumping $140 a month into a little line item in your accounts receivable and I am finally fed up with your shit. If we’re going to make it through these time tough times we’re going to have to do it together.

I’m at the breaking point right now where if Verizon doesn’t make some serious changes I’m going to call it quits and take my business elsewhere. I currently have an offer on the table to take my talents to T-Mobile for the same minutes, unlimited text messaging and data for $89.99 a month. On the real though, there is a lot more to a relationship than a carrier and minutes, there is the “coup de grâce” of a cellular experience, the mobile device.

Over the last four years I have been addicted to the CrackBerry pipe. I have taken what was normally a business phone for boring people and completely rebranded it as the MackBerry. I started off with the World Edition, adopted the black sheep of the Blackberry family, the Storm, and dropped it like it wasnt hot for the Tour which has taken me everywhere and back. I get choked up just at the thought of leaving my BBM and memos behind but I believe I have found greener grass.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side but I do believe as though I have found better options. Danielle has been with T-Mobile for over ten years and they are trying to convert me from the Verizon Red to T-Mobile Pink. The monthly plan is definitely nice but it is Charles Barkley, D-Wade, and Superman and their MyTouches with Android operating systems that are really making me take this life decision seriously.

I have been a huge texter over the course of my cellular career and have always been a huge advocate for real buttons opposed to touchscreens. However, with new “Swype” technology texting has become even easier. It allows you to swipe your fingers across the keyboard from letter to letter without having to pick up your little chicken fingers. It is like playing connect the dots with words.

Cool right? I have not completely given up yet though. Right now, I’m Carmelo Anthony playing for the Denver Nuggets (Verizon) while the New York Knicks (T-Mobile) is really where I want to be but there still are those pesky New Jersey Nets (Sprint) out there in a bidding war for me.

Sprint has some pretty good players that are definitely tempting. The have the EVO, the BlackBerry Style, and a fairly priced plan with a really good network. However, they just don’t have the “it factor” for me. They sponsor NASCAR which goes against everything I believe in and I’m not a big fan of black and yellow color scheme unless it’s being rocked by the Pittsburgh kid, Wiz Khalifa.

Like I said, I have not completely jumped ship yet and am still entertaining offers. That being said, I will not host an hour-long special on ESPN to let the world what service provider I will take my talents to for the next two years. Instead, I would like to surround myself with the right entourage of people who care about me and my interests instead of the people who are hanging on to me just for my BBMs.

This is a big “decision” and I want to make sure I don’t rush into it and choose hastily for the mere approval of my crew and cronies. I would like to solicit for the help and expertise of people who are educated on these subjects. People who can compare both the pros and cons for me so as to assist me in making the right choice, for myself and my lifestyle. If you have any advice for me on this dilemma, insider trading tips, or a cool app to download polyphonic ringtones it would be greatly appreciated.

I don’t really know where I want to go with this blog but being a “Chooseday Tuesday” I figured I would let my mind flow into my index fingers (because I still look at keyboard and type with two fingers) and whatever comes out, well comes out. It is that time of year where college students around the world (on a semester schedule) fill the lounges of Starbucks and invest in 5 Hour Energy Shots.

It wasn’t until my super senior year  of college that I realized what good studying actually was. It involved going to class, paying attention in class, taking decent notes, reviewing them frequently, and going over them again in-depth prior to the final while upon receipt of the study guide. Another good trick is to only study in 45 minute increments because your brain can only focus at full strength for that amount of time.

So, in this educational week it is my fiduciary duty to pass on this knowledge to all students. Study for 45 minutes and then take a 15 minute break. Then repeat. However, I cannot take credit for this wise information and the credit is due to my good friend and world renown studier, Nick Wesling. Now the only remaining question is how will you utilize your 15 minute breaks to maximize the retention of the information applicable to your finals?

That’s where I come in. I have compiled a short play list of non H1N1 viral videos to keep you on your toes and your heart light in what can be a very stressful week. These videos are intended to give you a quick little smile break from studying. However, they do come with a Surgeon General’s warning that they are contagious, so do not watch in excess. Side effects may include: songs stuck in head, random laughter outbursts, and sneezing.

The “Harlem Shake,” the “Stanky Leg,” and the “Douggie” have nothing on this new dance craze. The “Bernie” is the hottest new form of interpretive dance that is sweeping the across the Bible Belt. It is recommended that this dance is done prior to a final to loosen up all of your muscles in preparation for what could be a tense hour or so. The quality is not up to par quite yet but I’m sure it is only a matter of time before Wiz Khalifa and B.o.B. hop in da boof for a remix.

This next video is almost as ridiculous as the “Bernie.” I recently came across three young gentleman from the prestigious University of Oregon, who go by the name of Supwhitchugirl. These three young men make me wish I would have gone to the U of O, met them playing intramural basketball, and thus transformed the trio into a quad because they remind me a lot of myself anf friends. This video has gone viral and become the official “fight video” for the Ducks’ championship run.

This next video is also off from the rap supergroup, Supwitchugirl. Behind the quick lyrics and jerker outfits there is an unheard amount of talent. From the writing of the songs, to the production of the videos, to the search for early 90s Nike windbreakers, these three kids are the reason I want my sons to grow up in the Pacific Northwest, despite never setting foot outside of an airport there.

This other hit from Supwitchugirl brings me right back to my childhood. Well my teenage years, where we would hop the fence of Selma Bartlett Elementary to play basketball on the eight foot hoops. I still believe in  my heart, that when on eight foot hoops, I am the best dunker in the world, pulling creative dunks out of my ass that would have Luke Ridnour and Luke Jackson wishing they showed me around campus on recruiting trips. I also have a special place in my heart for this video because I too still save all of my Champion (brand) NBA jerseys in a kids size 40 from middle school.

This next video comes to you from the best History AP teacher in America, Mr. Jeff Johnson. Mr. Johnson and I hit it off ever since Junior year of high school, when I showed up on the first day of school wearing my Larry Johnson UNLV throwback. From that day forth we had a bond held together by a respect for local basketball excellence. We both held similar positions in UNLV’s student government and he still is UNLV’s #1 fan from the net-cutting days of the early 90s, to the grey days of the Early 2000’s with Mark Dickel, to our current ascending return to greatness.

This last video I will leave you with is something to get you in the holiday mood. It twas the night before Christmas of 2006 and our hearts were open wide and these two comedic and musical geniuses gave us something that was on their mind. They were wise enough to when a gift needs giving and they knew just the one. It’s their dick in a box!

On this Frivolous Friday, I have decided to put my music producer hat on. I am always thinking of different mixes that could be made by songs with similar lyrics rather than beats. By setting them both on a similar beat it would allow for a seamless transition unrecognizable by even the most sober person when the beat drops in Tao at 3am.

Every Christmas, different Christmas albums are released by pop and country music artists but it is on rare occasion that hip-hop or rap artists release a Christmas album. And rightfully so, an entire Christmas album by Soullja Boy might not do to well, but what if it were a compilation album put together by super producer, Mix-Masta MC Mackin? Well, this is no longer a fable and this highly touted project is now in the works for Christmas 2011. Here is a sneak peek of what you can expect.

“Little Drummer Boy” by Jay-Z and Travis Barker: The holes that Travis Barker drills in his snare for an even louder baseline will provide a modern take on a Christmas classic. Jay-Z is mainstream enough now to have this be the first single off the album as it will be performed live on SNL as well. If you can’t imagine the blending of the 2 songs, this will give you an audio sense of what the track will emulate.

“Santa Baby” by Nikki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne: Nikki has completely exploded on the music scene and has already surpassed Lil Kim and Foxxy Brown with only Missy Elliot left to conquer as the best female rapper of all time. She has the delivery and sultriness to make this flirty song a song that you wouldn’t think twice about if it were heard on “Pink Friday.” Wayne will step in da boof on the third verse for his take on “Weezy Baby.”

“The First Noel” by Juelz Santana and Jim Jones: Santana Aightttt! It’s Dipset! These two aren’t the most talented in their craft but they do have their demographic and fan base in New York. So, I would like them to perform this version in Rockefeller Center at the lighting of the tree ceremony. Just imagine “Juelz” being said in the same note as “Noel.”

“Jingle Bells” DJ Khaled and T-Pain: We da best! Who?!?! Jingle Bells! Auto-tune may have died but this holiday staple will resurrect it back to life. The opportunities for a typical Terror Squad beat combined with the bells are exponential. This one is a little hard to describe, so I guess the best way is to just let your mind wander by listening.

“Santa Claus is Coming to Town” Wiz Khalifa: Wiz is just young enough to make this playful song seem like he didn’t have to entirely reinvent the wheel for this “joint.” His creative word play would allow for many puns comparing The North Pole to Pitt, the elves to Taylor Gang, rolling up Christmas list scrolls to something else that Wiz is good at rolling…

“Let It Snow” Girl Talk and Fat Joe feat. Lil Wayne: This song was made famous by Dean Martin and none of the original quality will be lost as Girl Talk mashes up this classic on New Years Eve 2011 live from Prive’ at Planet Hollywood. The performance will start out as fake snow begins to fall from the rafters then Fat Joe slowly but surely jumps behind the boof and makes it rain as Wayne runs through the crowd frantically.

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” by Kanye West and Kid Cudi: The hook will be sung by Kanye’s trademark chipmunked voices. Cudi will provide a little hope for the city of Cleveland because God knows they need it with LeBron gone. They both are a little out there so the result of this track could go anywhere but I’m guessing it will sound somewhat along the lines of this…

“Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” by Justin Bieber and Rihanna: I had throw one pop song on the album. And what a better way to recreate the youth and innocence than with the cutest young pop star since Justin Timberlake wore shiny, light blue Adidas track pants when he performed live from Disney World with N* Sync. Rihanna will hop on at the end in a mini Santa dress to sing some back-up and do her knee wiggle dance.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHVhwcOg6y8&fs=1&hl=en_US