Posts Tagged ‘Miley Cyrus’

Most Mondays I like to start off with a “My Life Monday” but with nothing Earth-shattering or ground breaking happening in my life over the weekend, I thought I would give a review of last night’s Grammys. After all the dust has settled and the rumors of the after-parties are swirling, some people may actually forget there was an actually an award show last night.

So, I feel it is my patriotic duty to provide a quick recap for all those who forgot what happened or went to bed early. This blog will focus less on the writing format and will be in more of a play-by-play format, so that you can read the blog in a few minutes.

What a better way to open up the show with a real soulful woman, Aretha Franklin. Jennifer Hudson looks great! I guess Weight Watchers really does work and I’m just glad Christina Augilera got the words right even though she took a little spill still. I bet she could make me some bomb chicken and waffles too. Ricky Martin wore silver pants, typical.

Lady Gaga disgusts me! I’m sorry I just cannot stomach her. Only she would perform a song called “I was born this way” while wears horns implanted into her shoulders and forehead. Yeah, that’s not hypocritical. Her backup dancers looked like a bunch of WWF Golddusts.

Miranda Lambert is good, she just not my cup of tea. I can’t believe Lenny Kravitz cut the dreads! Muse scares me. B.o.B. is the homie and a lot more than just a rapper. Did anyone else notice that Bruno Mars and the Janelle Monet have the same hair-do? They probably get their coke from the same dude too. The Mo-town flare on “Grenade” was unique and good because I was getting sick of hearing that song in its original version. Janelle Monet was cute I guess but I prefer me some Willow Smith though. I love me some Mo-town.

Guess who? Jaden Smith with leopard skinny jeans, he is friggin adorable! I want to rent him as my future son. Justin Bieber is talented I don’t care what people say about how manufactured he is. Will, Jada, and Willow clapping almost brought a tear to my eye watching their son/brother during his first performance. Usher is so wack with his same dance moves from when he did my way.

Muse is cool I guess they’re the only rock band who I actually knew had an album out this year. Selena Gomez is cute, I just hope she stays innocent and doesn’t get corrupted by the Lindsay Lohans of Hollywood. And presenting with Donnie Wahlberg probably isn’t the best start. Then handing off the Grammy to Lady Caca (as I like to call her) doesn’t help either, I just hope whatever it is that Lady Gaga has, isn’t contagious. It all makes sense now that she looks up to Whitney Houston even though her new stuff is ripped off Madonna.

The lead singer of Mumford and Sons looks exactly like Tim Tebow! I almost did a double-take but then remembered that Tim Tebow isn’t emo. The Grammys is a big step up for the Avett Brothers, their last Las Vegas performance was at the Silverton, literally. I didn’t even know Bob Dylan was still alive but apparently “he aint gonna work for Maggie’s Pa no more. So, I guess that shows how musically diversified I am.

Clay Matthews is a beast! Lady Antebellum is one of few country artists I know of and like, (probably because they are crossover artists) anyway, their performance was good and the really cleaned up on awards. Miley Cyrus’ “country roots” weren’t the only things that were showing with Kings of Leon. Jamie Foxx had a Grammy and Oscar!

Who knew? Cee-lo has the most annoying voice in music and he wore the most ridiculous outfit I have ever seen. He looks like the love child of Scott Steiner and a peacock with his muppet band. Gwyenth Paltrow was surprisingly good and she was even better in “Country Strong,” good thing she didn’t fall off the piano.

Katy Perry’s voice isn’t great but she is nice to look at so I give her performance a B+. You can tell she started off probably the singer for a rock band and whoever discovered her said “lose the guys with the ripped jeans and tattoos, we have back-up dancers with N* Sync choreography for that.” She had a Powerpoint presentation of her wedding behind her while performing, which was cool I thought. She should have done “Teenage Dream” with Keenan Cahill, that would have been really smart.

“Jolene” performed by Keith Urban, Johnny Depp’s stunt double, John Mayer, and Norah Jones for Dolly Parton was pretty good. It had some fancy guitar playing that I appreciated. Seth Rogen has broken the curve of going from fat to skinny while remaining funny, a task hard to overcome in Hollywood.

Rihanna has looked better but she is still my RiRi. Adam Levine from Maroon 5 on the keys was a nice touch to performance. Eminem went H.A.M. as usual and I’m glad he finally stopped wearing super baggy pants. I would love to see him in a nice suit (no homo). I hate to say it but Dre needs to stay behind the scenes from now on, instead of on stage. He looked like Pro Bowler and ESPN Analyst, Marcellus Wiley up there.

Jewel looked pretty and I never really like John Legend, I don’t know why. Who is Esperanza Spalding? JB or Drizzy Drake should have won best new artist, but that is just me. Mick Jagger is legendary but when it comes to drug-ridden, rock and roll lead singers with wide mouths, Steven Tyler has my vote. Mick’s tapping of his right foot was to a completely different beat of his left foot, it just didn’t do it for me. Barbara Streisand is well Bobra. That’s enough about her! Nicki Minaj just has balls and that’s why I like her and her hair helmet.

Detroit stand up! I’m happy Eminem won best rap album because he is a handsome man even though I’m partial to my boy HOVA, who sadly wasn’t in attendance. P. Diddy is officially the goofiest dude in hip hop, I feel uncomfortable for him, he tries way too hard and just needs to give it up.

Now, that’s the RiRi I like, no one does the knee wiggle dance better. If anyone knows where she got the African drummers from, let me know because I wanna book them for my wedding. J-Lo looks good as always even though Marc Anthony looks like her cracked out little brother.

I’m going to be honest, I had no idea who Arcade Fire was prior to Jason Siegel introducing them and I wish it would have stayed that way. I have never been so happy to have been blinded by flashing strobe lights during a musical performance. I just thank God that Matt Hoffman and the other BMX riders weren’t hurt. I don’t know how they won album of the year! Either it was rigged, or I have been living under a rock for the last year.

I am not the most cultured person when it comes to music but I would like to think that when something is new and interesting that I can give credit where credit is due. With all of the resources the academy had available to them, I thought the collaborative performances seriously lacked creativity. All in all,  I would give this year’s Grammys a C+.

Throughout my childhood I had the privilege of traveling across the country with my uncle going to various sporting events. Super Bowls, All-Star Games, etc… I’ve been to pretty much every major city but was not really able to experience all they had to offer. It is hard to really explore when you are on an extended layover or have a set and busy itinerary. So, I have compiled a collection of places I would like to visit and really experience.

Chicago, Illinois: It seemed like a nice city from the huge terminals of O’Hare and is one of those places I feel like I should go. I hate the wind, their teams, and deep dish pizza but I feel like I will have never really lived and can go on with my life hating Chicago teams even more after being there. I gotta go to Wrigley and watch a game from across Sheffield, watch a Knicks vs. Bulls game and take a picture in front of MJ, and eat a Chicago style hot dog.

Nawlins, Lousiana: Obviously during Mardi Gras. Not only is it the biggest party in the world but it is as far away from hurricane season as possible. I wanna rock an LSU Shaq jersey all week to match my purple and gold beads. I want to have full-on conversations with rednecks fresh off the bayou, where I cannot understand a word they’re saying. I want to go to Emeril’s and have crawfish gumbo and help rebuild a house flattened by Katrina. I want to wear my seer sucker suit and light blue gators and to a black gospel church and dance in the aisles. Tell me this video doesn’t give you the chills…

Savannah, Georgia: I love me a good southern drawl. I want to release sea turtle from their eggs into the ocean like Miley Cyrus did in her last movie. I want to go to Paula Deen’s for brunch and eat some deep-fried butter with butter on top. I want to see some Civil War shit. I want to get bitten by a mosquito sippin’ my sweet tea on a front porch rocking chair and then have to sleep with one of those nets around the bed.

Portland, Oregon: For our honeymoon we’re going to do Napa/Sonoma and Pacific Northwest wine country with the second stop being in PDX. I want to start my day off with a maple donut covered in bacon from Voodoo Donuts. Hit up Nike for a new pair of Air Max 95s. Stack some cheddar at the Tilamook Cheese factory because there aren’t many things better than cheese. Well, beer is better than cheese and then drink a pint of Oregasmic Ale from Rogue Brewery.

Seattle, Washington: I want to get a Venti Iced Soy Chai from the original Starbucks. I want to climb the rock wall at the world’s largest REI because that is as outdoorsy as I get. I want to throw and catch a fish from Pike’s Place Market and then have someone turn it into bomb spicy tuna like they did on “The Real World.” I want to get a Shawn Kemp jersey signed by “The Rainman’s” 8 kids and 6 baby’s Mamas. I want to wear a flannel and not shower for the three days I’m there.

Sydney, Australia: I’m not big on leaving the country but I would make an exception for here and one other place. I want to go to an All Blacks match. I want to board the S.S. Steve Irwin and help save a whale. I want to go to the Syndey Opera House that looks like a bunch of clams. I want to eat a Vegemite sandwich with the Aborigines. I want to be weirded out by watching the water flush in the opposite direction. And I want to go for a kangaroo ride if you can even do that.

Rome, Italy: I’m not big on tourist attractions, so I would do the staples like the doing the Leaning Tower of Pisa picture, The Coliseum, and maybe say what’s up to the Pope at The Vatican but when I go on vacation I want to relax. So, when I’m in Italy I want to do nothing but eat thin-crust Parmigiano Reggiano and Prosciutto pizza and have purple gums from drinking so much Pinot Noir. This will be done on a few wine tours and tasting and not much else.