Posts Tagged ‘Drake’

In the wake of all the hype stemming from the release of the acts for Coachella 2011, I decided to do a little research. First, I had never even heard of Coachella before and found out that it was a music festival near Palm Springs, CA similar to a modern version of Woodstock where hipsters come together and camp out for 3 days while doing shrooms and trippin out to 162 (if I counted correctly) different acts.

Of the hundred plus different acts I recognized Kanye, Wiz, Lauryn Hill, The Black Keys, and like 4 DJs. I understand that their lineup stretches across a multitude of genres of music, bringing thousands of people with different tastes of music and different types of marijuana from afar to a single patch of grass. However, this obviously isn’t necessarily my cup of tea.

Therefore, I have devised a set list for the miniscule percentage of the population like me who only get their music from listening to www.hotnewhiphop.com and “Tiger Beat Magazine.” Mackinchella 2011 will feature the latest in “hip-pop” music ranging from Drake to 5ive. Aside from the presumably obvious headliners from this genre that will be in attendance, I would like to focus on the openers and more forgotten acts of the last 10 years. I have gone into great detail so that you don’t have to familiarize yourself again with the music of our recent past and childhood.

Nick Lachey

I feel that SAE, Nick Lachey, is completely underrated as an artist and a husband. He was the driving force behind 98 Degrees and had a decent solo career while riding the coattails of Jessica Simpson. This song is obviously about the infamous breakup over Buffalo Wings but is a great song nonetheless. Swear to God, I would listen to this song on repeat for hours on end while sleeping on stand, lifeguarding at Caesars Palace.”Falling faster, barely breathing, give me something to believe in.” I mean they just don’t make music like this anymore.

BB Mak

“Back Here” is very similar to “What’s left of me” melodically and that is why I like it. Actually, I’m lying, I don’t even really know what melody means, but it reminds of this song a little a bit. I remember sitting around brainstorming songs for serenades in 2006 and when this little gem hit me, it had the panties flying from Lied Library to the old SU. I don’t know if it was our fake British accents our Pete’s sweet and innocent guitar skills but this song just leaves you feeling all tingly inside.

Backstreet Boys

Danielle isn’t exactly ecstatic that this is my favorite BSB song of all time but at the same time she can’t help but singing along with me. “Black and Blue” was their best album to date that is if their collaboration with NKOTB doesn’t knock them off. It had the nice flamenco guitar, plenty of bass to make your trunk rattle rolling down MLK Jr Blvd, and even enough snare for Eminem’s headphones.

Fabolous

This rap joint has a nice summatime/bubble gum pop feel to it, right? Fabo is one of my all time favorite rappers. Some of the bars he comes up with is absolutely unheard of. This song almost made me propose by saying to Danielle “But since you been ‘aksin’ bout da friends, how’d you like it if bof ah names had Mackin on da end”? Almost, but I felt like I didn’t wanna feel like a wigger when I was old telling people how I proposed.

Spin Doctors

This is just one of those where if it catches you in a good mood on shuffle you will pretend to know the lyrics by scating along but in reality you are off. Then the only lyrics you do know are “And if you wanna call me baby, just go ahead now baby.” That’s it. You can pretend to know the rest by mumbling or looking away when you bob your head (that’s what I do) but everyone will know you don’t know them because they don’t know them either.

En Vogue

En Vogue was Destiny’s Child when Kelly Rowland was still in playing “Skip It” and Beyonce was taping up Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters to the back of her door. I feel like this song is what Cougar and Jaguar divorcees worldwide, play when they have “tupperware parties” once they’re all red wine drunk and feeling slippery. They had some pipes on them and could really belt out some high and powerful notes across the whole Mackinchella Valley.

Brandy and Monica

I feel like “The Boy is Mine” was the theme song for most girls in middle school to act like they were cooler than they were. They would act a little more ghetto than they were and pretend to have serious relationships with guys they hugged for the first time walking into 4th period and break up with them before 2:11pm. They then would run home and call their boyfriends on their personal land lines and try to “punt” the other girls off of AIM.

Cher

If this song never came out back in the day, and came out tomorrow it would still be hot. People think T-Pain was the Godfather of Auto-tune when in reality it is Cher, that Jay-Z should be writing songs about. Especially with all of the house and techno beats infused into hip-pop music today, you could hear this song on the radio and think it was Ke$ha.

O-Town

Goosebumps right? Yeah, Ashley Parker Angel does that to me too. This song is for the long awaitied return of the 2nd best form of man-made and manufactured music from Orlando www.okmagazine.com/2011/01/o-town-boys-are-reuniting-making-new-music/. They weren’t the best boy bad ever but let’s be honest they had some stiff competition and at least this song was a lot better than “Liquid Dreams” lol.

I hope this little snippet gives you an idea of the type of music you can listen to in a fun and completely drug-free environment. The event will be hosted by Snooki from “The Jersey Shore” and Rex Ryan from the New York Jets (now that he has plenty of spare time) and Sean Hannity. While the acts’ groupies are switching out the instruments (not that any of these acts play instruments, but their bands do) one TV screens we will be showing episodes of “Boy Meets World” in 3D, “PTI,” and “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Drives.”

Tickets go on sale 1/31/11 and can be purchased from any Foot Locker location or online at www.jonmackin.wordpress.com. Be sure to get your tickets fast because hotel rooms will fill up quick. Thank you.

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The eight crazy nights’ opening ceremonies have commenced and the fun has only just begun. This extended holiday happens around this of time of year (usually) every year but do you really know what Hanukkah is? On this “Thoughtful Thursday” I will try to enlighten you a little bit on this Festival of Lights (pun intended).

Everyone has their own perceptions of what Hanukkah is and it usually comes tagged with a dreidel or potato latke stereotype. Yes, there are more dreidels spun during Hanukkah than on Martin Luther King Jr. Day but that is not the extent of the holiday. It is not the Judaic version of Christmas either. It is a real challah-day with real, feelings so please refrain from leaving racist jokes. Get it challah-day? Challah; the Jewish braided bread? Whatever.

Any who, Hanukkah or Chanukkah, pronounced [χanuˈka] is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem which was destroyed during the Maccabean Revolt in the 2nd century. This was prior to the birth of Christ and following the extinction of my favorite dinosaur ever, the Brontosaurus. If you don’t remember what the Brontosaurus looks like just picture a much bigger version of Chris Bosh.

But I digress. Hanukkah is celebrated by the lighting of nine candles on a menorah over the course of eight days and nights in commemoration of the flame that stayed lit for eight days and nights. There are nine candles for the eight days and nights and a ninth utilized to light the preceding candles. This menorah is one of my favorites because it is actually related to Lumiere from “Beauty and the Beast.”

This is what makes Hanukkah so special to the Jewish religion, that by divine intervention the  “miracle of the container of oil” occurred. The flame should have only stayed lit for one day when in actuality it stayed lit for eight days. This is like a much more important instance of when Giada De Laurentiis is trying to make her famous Eggplant Parm with only 1/4 cup of olive oil when her recipe calls for 2 cups. Damn, now that I think about it, I should have put her on my “Girls! Girls! Girls! The ten I like the most” https://jonmackin.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/girls-girls-girls-the-ten-i-like-the-most/ blog and taken out Kelly Kapowski.

Again, I apologize for the distraction, back to Hanukkah. It burned for eight nights which “conveniently” was the same amount of time it took to press and consecrate new olive oil to keep the flames a-burnin’. Like any other holiday there are customs, traditions, and prayers that are exercised throughout the holla-day. To the surprise of many “The Hanukkah Song” by Adam Sandler was not sung at the first Hanukkah. However, it is a fair and modern interpretation of Jewish history brought forth by possibly the second-most famous Jew of all time. Guess who was the first, I’ll give you a hint it’s not Drizzy Drake.

So, for the seven remaining nights of this highly misunderstood holiday take the time to broaden your horizons and learn a little a bit about history from your favorite Jew. Whether you are a Christian or Shiite Muslim it is not against your religion to sip on a little Manischewitz and get a little wine drunk because God knows that it the best kind of drunk when your gums are purple and are feelin’ all good and slippery. If you have any questions please refer all question to my resident He-Bro, Noam Amir-Brownstein. Shalom! http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/noam416

Who doesn’t love a good movie? Over the last few years, there has been a major influx of remaking classic movies and they have been huge at the box office. Instant classics like “The Dark Knight” and “Robin Hood” have made a strong argument for the bringing back of more classic movies and updating them with popular actors, better technology, and a newfound sense of nostalgia.

We all have our list of favorite movies that we would like to see in a new and improved version of. We also hold these films dear to our heart and don’t want to see a piece of art ruined by someone who was just trying to make a buck. The movies should stick to their guns and not stray to far from what they were originally intended to be. These are a few movies that I think could use a little revamping as they would only improve the value of the film line as a whole…

Back to the Future: McFly! Michael J. Fox is such a sweetheart and his boyish good looks could probably pull of another sequel if he really wanted to. I think his character should be portrayed by Zac Effron as he goes back to the future with Doc being played by Robin Williams. Let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to see that movie? My man crush on Zach Effron is not biased because I think he has a lot of potential to pull off a role like this and Robin Williams is crazy. Biff could be played by Seth Rogan?

Dirty Dancing: The lady friends are going to love this one. The late Patrick Swayze would need an actor with an air of confidence to carry on his role in a deserving way. I thought about this role for hours and the only person who was a great dancer and a great actor is the one and the only Justin Timberlake. “Nobody puts baby in the corner.” Another tough role to cast because Baby needs to be played by somewhat of an ugly duckling that could mature into a beautiful swan. And Taylor Swift has the innocence and ability to “have the time of her life.”

White Men Can’t Jump: Beelly! Nike remade the Air Flight 1s into a Hyperize so why not remake the movie too. Beelly Hoyle will be played by Paul Walker as he tries to hustle the courts of Venice Beach with Jamie Foxx. Ebony and Ivory are back with their love/hate relationship and. Nothing bugs me more than when a non-athletic actor portrays an athlete in a role and these roles would need to be played by actors with serious athletic prowess to match Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. I’m thinking Rosario Dawson could try emulating Rosie Perez as she studies for Jeopardy.

Neverending Story: You know you all had a secret mythical love for this movie. Bastian being played by Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter could completely reinvent this timeless movie. Technological improvements coupled with Morgan Freeman’s voice as the creepy, big, flying dog provide the necessary elements to make this movie even better than the first one.

Ghostbusters: Who you gonna call? I’m gonna call Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifinakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham, and Mike Epps to epically (I hate that word but whatever) play Dr. Venkman, Dr. Spengler, Dr. Stantz, Louis Tully, Dana, and Winston respectively as they recreate the movie that had me wearing goggles for a 2 years straight (true story). They all meshed so well on “The Hangover” so don’t fix it if it ain’t broken and let them redo one of my favorite movies of all time.

Top Gun: “Maverick” and “The Iceman” are characters that will forever be in that big VHS collection in the sky. They need to be played by actors who are at the top of their game and could play the patriotic role well. Josh Duhmel has the strong jaw line and military acting experience from “Transformers” to accurately illustrate the role of “Maverick.” “Jarhead” Jake Gyllenhaal not “Brokeback Mountain” Jake Gyllenhaal will bring “The Iceman” back to lifein  this historic remake.

Men in Black: It may be a little to soon to remake this 90s hit but fuck it. Will Smith was hilarious and made about 22 trillion on this movie alone. Tommy Lee Jones was serious and this was his last good movie. I have casted Drizzy Drake as “Agent D” and Robert Downey Jr. as “Agent R” to rock their wayfarers and black slim fit suits in this hip sci-fi hit. RDJ will mentor the hoodest Canadian Jew there is in his breakout film.

Pretty Woman: This was a tough one. It was hard to find a pair of actors with the maturity to do Julia Roberts and Richard Gere justice. I wanted them to be able to have that classy look while still being able to break the law and I think the best fits fall with Rachel McAdams and Patrick Dempsey. They are both good-looking people and I think they have the potential chemistry to make you feel like this was just a remastered version of the original.