On this My Life Monday, I feel it is only appropriate if I touch on the topic of my birthday. It’s not like it was the most eventful or ragerific birthday ever but I can honestly say it was the best birthday ever. And for that I feel like my birthday is obviously a part of “my life” and therefore allowable to speak upon. I don’t mean for it to come of as conceited at all,l I wll just simply report on the activities that took place and thank all parties involved.
My actually birthday is today but Monday birthdays suck especially in post “Monday Night Football season” so I decided to celebrate the preceding weekend. I kicked off the weekend not with happy hour but with an exhilarating hour of doing what I’m best at… grading Danielle’s 2nd grade spelling tests. The little tikes did great this week and had a class average of 95%, in case anyone was wondering.
Then it was time to kick off the weekend. In years past I have set up extravagant “3 birthday weekends” but this year I felt it was unnecessary and wanted to tone back “hey look at me” factor and celebrate with a fellow birthday mate of mine, Katie Jozsa. Her fiance’/baller, Luke, threw her a surprise party of which activities included Ketchup/Grape Jelly infused meatballs (which were bomb.tv), “Minute To Win It” games, and beer pong. I fell short of being able to complete “Johnny Apple-stack” by stacking 5 apples but did succeed in winning 5 consecutive games of beer pong, which really led me to feel young at heart again because I still got it.
The following morning started right where I left off with a Coors Light before noon at the Red Room before the UNM vs UNLV basketball game. That was a lot of prepositions and I’m not exactly sure about the grammar. For Rick’s Birthday this coming weekend, I let him take me to the breakfast open bar. I had a bunch of bacon to stop the hangover before it had a chance to take over and had 6-8 beers by the time the Rebels could close out the New Mexicans.
Danielle then treated me to my third favorite food, Kobe “All You Can Eat” Sushi. After about 9 Ashley Rolls and 3 Sake Bombs, I was just barely to keep the sushi down long enough to take a power nap and shower for later.
Sorry, if you were one of those people who throw up when they see someone else throw up. However, I apologize more for that horrendous music. Then the festivities continued (late of course because Danielle is never on time, never) at Bilbo’s for a night of $2 Kokanees (or as I like to call them “Canadian Coors Lights), shuffle board, and darts. Thank you to everyone who showed up, especially everyone who made the commute from Hendertucky. I couldn’t win in shuffleboard but was able to nail the bullseye on the last shot as we headed out to Chicago Brewery.
I hate this word but Chicago Brewery was “legendary” because for the first time in my life I was “Buffalo Clubbed” by one Bocephus Dwayne Murphy. It was tough to suck down an ice-cold, thick, 22oz. Amber something or other, and that is where things started to get blurry. One of the last things I remember vividly was trying to run a post route on an ex-UCLA cornerback we met and a discussion of what the politically correct term is for a baby’s private parts. We heard everything from donut, to hoohaa, to niney, to some other special phrases that are too vulgar for my PG-13 blog.
I then needed my Jack In the Box grease with probably some dog-food tacos and a Breakfast Jack. Little did I know however, that I was being documented via video-phone. Unfortunately Danielle’s phone doesn’t exist anymore so I cannot upload the videos but in one scene I was asked to describe my birthday in one sentence, upon which I replied abruptly with “I. Am. The. Real. World.” I guess I felt like I was on “The Real World.” Then what I was most afraid of, happened. I slept walk again. Thankfully I made it to the toilet and didn’t urinate on anyone or anything and everything remained in tact.
After such a sinful night, I needed to repent in church, which along with a coffee and asprin, was a great wa to start off my day. After church we met Danielle’s cousin, Deanna, for my second favorite food, Grimaldi’s pizza, which Deanna treated us too and we are very thankful for. I then cleansed off my palette with a Madagascar Vanilla Bean Gelato from Samabalatte, while Danielle decided to take her phone for a dip in her coffee.
I then let the food coma begin to set in while blobbing on the couch watching the biggest pansy in football, Jay Cutler, throw away the game to affirm my prediction that the Bears are garbage. The Steel Curtain was also just strong enough to hold off the out-spoken Jets as my Super Bowl predictions were correct. Too bad I didn’t bet it. Told ya so.
I then decided to close-out my birthday with my family and with my most favorite food of all time, Lucille’s pulled pork. I’m a sucker for suckling and emptied half a bottle of their Memphis BBQ sauce on top that kept me bloated throughout the night. All though I have to say one night of gas and pain was totally worth the 30 minutes of pleasure. I want to thank everyone who contributed to my birthday and for all the nice words on the Facebook streaming in as I type. I am thankful for all of you and am very blessed. Holla.