The playoffs are here and you know what that means… A lot of research into picks and predictions that will never pan out. But that is what makes sports beautiful. If everyone who knew a lot about or studied matchups could easily predict the outcome then there would be no fun it watching the suspense of the game because you would know what happens anyway. And with America’s most popular sport heading into the post-season, America will be on the edge of their bar stools for the next month or so.

I try not to take these predictions or myself for that matter too seriously so please take these picks with a large grain of Kosher salt because Kosher salt is the best for grilling. Not to mention my preseason picks had the Vikings and the Cowboys in the NFC ship with the Cowboys winning it all. I’ll break down my possible playoff scenarios in hopes that they play out over time but there is a very good chance they won’t knowing that kickers still play a vital role in close games with their right futbol boots.

No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 3 Indianapolis Colts (10-6): I along with the rest of the world was spellbound by the Jets going into this season with the remainder of the hype from last season and from “Hard Knocks” and picked them to go to the AFC Championship this year. They are always teetering on the verge of cocky and arrogant rather than the air of confidence they try to exude. As clutch as Peyton is I think that injuries hurt them too much this year to find their Emperor’s Groove and Jets have just too much talent. Jets win 27-21.

No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 4 Kansas City Chiefs (10-6): I also picked the Ravens to play the Jets in AFC ship at the beginning of the year but I don’t know if that will still work out for them. I am still not convinced that the Chiefs have more than 12 fans. I think they ship in Oregon Duck fans for home games to make Arrowhead as loud as it gets. They lost to the Raiders twice and are inconsistent on defense. I think the Ravens could win playing one player at each level of defense. Suggs’ ugly mug rushing Cassel, Ray Lewis’ eye black breaking bones, and Ed Reed’s beard scaring receivers away. Ravens win 17-10.

No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 4 Seattle Seahawks (7-9): As dumb as having a 7-9 Divisonal Champs sounds I am of the belief that the Seahawks deserve a spot in the offs. You play to win the game! Especially divisional games and you cannot take theirs away. That being said I think the Saints should have been given home field but whatever. I don’t know anything about their new Quarterback, Charlie Whitehurst, they have the worst running game in the NFL, but they do have the 12th man with their fans. Saints don’t have the “swagga like us” like last year with Breesy and Reggie Bush being injured much of the season. Saints win 35-21.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 3 Philadelphia Eagles (10-6): This is my favorite game of the week. The Philadelphia Vick’s have an offense that is just fun to watch. Aaron Rodgers is old school quarterback who can sling it. I think DeSean Jackson is not a nice person. Clay Matthews looks like the Ultimate Warrior. I used to be a huge wrestling fan so I’m emotionally picking Green Bay to win even though I can’t fathom Vick losing this week in a real barn burner. Packers win 30-27.

No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4): The Steelers are the best franchise in all of football and they win be handlin’ business on their bye week preparing for this game. These two defenses should provide for a lot of big hits, not a lot of mental mistakes, and I think it will all come down to quarterback play. Flacco has proven a lot in his young career but I don’t think it is enough to outshine Big Ben who has a lot riding on this game. The Steelers one flaw may be their receiving core but I think Big Ben will make it twerk. If Roethlisberger can stay out of bars this next week, Steelers win 24-17.

No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 1 New England Patriots (14-2): Tom Brady is just too Tom Brady for the Jets to win. He knows how to closeout games, especially when it’s cold because of his new Uggs endorsement. He is the epitome of a leader and should lead the Pats to the Promiseland. However, you never know what Jets team you’re going to get and I think they are a more talented team and if all their stars align they could steal a win. It will probably be snowing though, so it will probably be hard to see the stars. Patriots win 35-24.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 1 Atlanta Falcons (13-3): I rooted for the Falcons all season with Michael Turner racking up fantasy points for me but I just don’t know if they have the WOW factor. If their offense was a stock portfolio they would be well diversified and low risk/low reward Mutual Fund. Green Bay has had a lot of injuries but just seems to win football games and the just look like the NFL and they excite me. Matty Ice is nice at home but I am not sure he is playoff tested yet and I am going with the upset. Packers win in a close one 30-27.

No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 2 Chicago Bears (11-5): I cannot stand the Bears and am still shocked they are a playoff team. I feel like Jay Cutler pulls wins out of nowhere that leaves Bears fans shocked every game. I guess that is a good thing for them but I think he is whipped by Kristen Cavallari. As much as I would like to see him lose and see the Dem Saints “Who Dat’n” up and down Mardi Gras again this year but I just can’t go against the numbers. I hope I am wrong with this but Bears win 21-10.

No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) at at No. 1 New England Patriots (14-2): This is my Super Bowl. To me, this is the best two teams in the best conference going at it down after down. The best offense vs the best defense. The best offensive player in the game vs the best defensive player in the game. I don’t know how much water their game earlier this season holds but if this game happens it will be one for the ages. Defense wins championships and I think the Steelers have a competitive edge even against the smartest man to ever wear a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off in New England in December. Steelers win 21-14.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 2 Chicago Bears (11-5): Teddy Bruschi likes the Packers and so do I. They seem to get better at something every week and hopefully by this time they will be talked about more than the Cowboys head coaching vacancy on SportsCenter. Adam Schefter reports that Jay Cutler doesn’t know if he can play because he has to pick Kristen up from the mall. He’ll show up right before game time and will get lit up by Clay Matthews just like last week as he shows him what real NFC North football looks like.

No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 2 Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4): This Super Bowl has “Campbell’s Chunky Soup Commerical” written all over it. These teams just have girth, if I can say that in a non-sexual way. These two teams are so manly that they will make the half-time performers, The Black Eyed Peas, look like the Spice Girls. Then maybe they’ll have Pittsburgh native, Wiz Khalifa, perform “Black and Yellow” at halftime while “s-ing a b” instead and Green Bay can find some local polka band to perform on their behalf. I would eat a brat to this game as the Steelers win in “the house that Jerry built”  27-21. Yeeeeeah uh huh you know what it is!

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Comments
  1. Matt McClure says:

    I love the fact that you picked the Steelers. (good man) But I think the Bears may take the second go-around of GB since they’re at home. Solid analysis bromalski.

    Put this blog on the map: Get a Twitter, Make a Facebook page for it and get Photoshop- that Ultimate Warrior comparison would be wicked bad if they’re heads were swapped. You should market this thing like these guys- check out KissingSuzyKolber.com or any of the Uproxx blogs. Yours is like a mashup, but obviously more Mackinesque. KSK does a sexy Friday, I’m pretty sure you’re more than capable of injecting some sex in this thing. (you’re not married yet)

    • jonmackin says:

      Thanks Jim HarBROugh (that one’s a little bit of a stretch). I’m not a fan of the curtain but I recognize credit where credit is due. Uproxx is my new ish. These are all things I know I need to do if I want to make it to the minor leagues but have yet to hit the weights yet. I’ll I’ve done is purchase the female shake-weight with a Walgreens gift card I received and I need the motivation to make all of the above happen. And the only kind of sex I know how to inject is via sea monkeys… Please advise 🙂

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