As my social security continues to mature and the increasing reality that it may not exist deep into my retirement, I am beginning to soul search for the tasks I want to complete while I still have the time and energy to do so. There are things we all want to do before we die and our thanks go to Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson for bringing this impending “to do list” to fruition for us.
Organizing and prioritizing a bucket list is a good way for people to set goals in life, both serious and fun. It gives people motivation to actually complete the tasks and it gives them something to look forward to as well. Whereas, most people could just go through life and with no goals or motivation to do things they have always wanted and having a potential bucket list provides for the accountability that one might need to see bucket list through.
My bucket list has both line items that are light and heavy, deep and shallow, but nonetheless important in some way. I don’t want to do typical things like skydiving or climbing Mt. Everest. I am scurred of heights and want to stay grounded for the majority of activities. These events are not in any particular order they are just an assemblage of a bunch of shit I want to get done before it is too late. I give you my bucket list.
1. Watch a Civil War Game from Autzen Student Section: I want to wear nothing but highlighter yellow and scream the entire game. I’m going to try my best to go next year but this might be even more worth it as a senior citizen.
2. Buy an at risk teen a car randomly: What a better way than to change a kids life than to buy him/her a car that they would have never been able to afford: I’m not talking Ferrari status but maybe a nice Toyota Corolla.
3. Giants vs. Cowboys NFC Championship game from Jerry Jones’ box: I hate the Cowboys with a passion so it would be ideal for me to be next to Jerry as I go nuts when my Giants beat the boys at home. It obviously won’t be this year with America’s team being worse than Botswana’s team.
4. Invent something that has its own mall kiosk: Not only would it be cool to have a functional invention but I would be creating jobs for legal European immigrants.
5. Beat WNBA All Star, Sue Bird, at one-on-one: I figured we were similar in size and if I could force her to drive instead of shooting 3s, I would have a shot at beating her.
6. Franchise a Las Vegas Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles: No explanation necessary.
7. Judge an NBA Dunk Contest: Not only would I get to sit next to Dr. J, Nique, and Kenny Smith, but I would go crazy after each dunk and then give in-depth analyses to Craig Sager afterward.
8. Portray myself in a Spike Lee Joint: I don’t think I would be a good actor, so myself might be the only character I could pull off.
9. Shoot a hole-in-one on a Par 5: I would need a lot of wind.
10. Have Lil’ Wayne bring me on stage to do all of “A Milli”: I know the words better than Wayne even though he has me with the delivery.
11. Throw out the first pitch of a World Series: I would practice a lot to make sure I paint the corners and I might mix it up a little up and go off-speed with a backdoor curve.
12. Beat Bobby Flay in a BBQ Pulled Pork Taco Throwdown: I have perfected BBQ Chicken Tacos and now am working on perfecting the BBQ Pulled Pork Tacos: Not chopped pork, pulled pork… Big difference.
13: Hit a blindfolded half-time half-court shot: Then give the $1,000,000 from Findlay Toyota to UNLV for a scholarship in my namesake.
14. Co-Host the MTV VMAs: I don’t know who I want to co-host with yet but I think it would be cool anyway. I’ll take suggestions.
15. Develop an indoor, less ghetto, Wet n’ Wild next to Town Square: Genius, I know.
16. Become the Mayor of Las Vegas: An actual aspiration of mine, any and all campaign contributions can be sent to my PayPal account. Inquire within.
17. Run a marathon… Backwards: I’m running the LA Marathon in March. After that I will begin to train for the next 3 years to run the Boston Marathon backwards.
18. Learn to wakeboard: I’m not too big on watersports but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. Or maybe it will hurt…
19. Adopt a mixed baby: I need athletes and want my kids to look like Will Smith’s kids.
20. Shoot bazookas with Sarah Palin: She already has an arsenal and I have never been to “The AK.”
21. Win the Caldecott Award for my illustrations in a children’s book: I don’t want to write the story and I can’t draw, so I figured this would be a reason to improve my water colors skills.
22. Shoot an episode of PTI with Tony Kornheiser: It wouldn’t be that great of an episode though because I would be laughing the entire time.
23. Have my own App: I don’t know exactly what it would do yet but it would probably be a combination T-Pain’s auto-tune App, Heytell, and Angry Birds.
24. Be able to sit Indian style (or Native American style) comfortably: I am not flexible at all, maybe I should take up pilates.
25. Have a secret menu Jamba Juice called “The Mackin”: Rainbow sherbert, orange juice, a shot of wheat grass, and protein powder. Nom Nom Nom.
26. Open a day-care: I love kids and Danielle doesn’t want to teach forever so I figured a day-care would occupy her while I golf.
27. Eat one of those 60 oz. steaks on “Man vs. Food”: “Did someone say steak”?
28. Have a baby brown bear, bald eagle, and a salmon live domestically and cohesively: Basically like a more American version of “The Lion King.”
29. Match-make a couple: I want them to meet, fall in love, get married, a have a litter of kids, and name their first-born son (my Godson) Mackin.
30. Have someone famous ask for my autograph: I don’t necessarily want to be famous, I would rather humble a celebrity.
31. Save a stranger’s life: I pulled a kid out of the deep end once and it was a huge adrenaline rush. I don’t know what the situation will be but I pray that I act instinctively.
32. Have a personal masseuse: How nice would it be to get a deep tissue massage to start your day?
33. Give an inspirational keynote: In a big auditorium, wearing a sport coat with leather on the elbows, about 21st Century athletics in 2101.
34. Bring a professional sports team to Las Vegas: We all want one. We just need a decent fan base and an angel investor for a stadium. (Blog to follow on Thursday.)
35. Start a foundation: Definitely for kids, but I need to look more into what the attention-lacking disease will be.
I don’t know why I stopped at #35 but I didn’t want the list to get to boring and depreciate the value and necessity of the list.