As of late I have been ailing from some serious sleep walking experiences. I obviously have no recollection of this but I would like to write this blog to not only bring awareness to this growing epidemic but to inform others who may suffer from sleep walking and to be able to stop it from spreading before it gets worse. There are the urban legends that if you wake a sleepwalker that it could go dangerously wrong, most notably from the reliable source of “Step Brothers,” but it is up for discussion as to whether or not these myths are actually factual.
This weekend we went to a Halloween party and Danielle was whippin, so I was sippin. By the end of the night I had a decent buzz but nothing crazy. I had my standard late night snack, grilled chicken burrito from Taco Bell, and even had the wherewithal to shower and scrub the Brett Favre out of my hair and beard. Needless to say, by the time I hit the sack I was sober as a bird and extremely coherent.
However, at some point in the middle of the night I got up to use the facilities. Danielle assumed everything was normal but upon hearing the flush she didn’t see me for a minute when I should have walked right back to bed. She then heard the front door open and shut. As she rushed to the foyer, she stumbled upon me stumbling around outside barefoot wearing just my extra long Oregon basketball shorts.
She asked me what the funk I was doing as I mumbled with “It’s chilly outside and I just wanted to feel how the air felt on my skin.” I have slept walked before but I have never left the safety of a home and ventured out into the streets. My usual sleep walking activities consist of going pee (in the toilet), with some stumbling around the bedroom, which usually ends with me going right back to bed.
In the few times that I have slept walk, it had been on occasions where there was alcohol in my system. Sometimes more than others but on the lesser extremes still occurring. But now that I have left my humble abode no shirt, no shoes, and no service it is time to get to the bottom of this.
There have been the horror stories of sleepwalkers killing themselves, hurting others as they live out their dreams, or terrorize their homes. Sleepwalking is actually very prevalent in children but it is imperative to keep the sleepwalkers under control to maintain the safety of others and their surroundings.
Sleepwalking occurs mostly in children between the ages of 4 and 8 and in the elderly dependent upon their frequency and use of medications. Sleepwalking can be caused by lack of sleep, mental disorders, seizures, or reactions to drugs or alcohol. It seems as though all arrows point to the latest of the latter option for me. I don’t sleepwalk every time I drink, but every time I have sleepwalked I have drunk.
There are ways to keep control of the sleepwalkers. The variable in my experiment obviously tends to be the alcohol because I don’t believe I have ever sleepwalked while not under an influence. But it sounds a little extreme to give up drinking for the remainder of my life. Doesn’t it?
Extensive research shows that there are preventative actions to protect the sleepwalkers and their loved ones. Just wake us up! When people sleep walk they will generally have a blank look on their face and mumble because they genuinely are asleep with their eyes open. And the best way to stop them from sleepwalking is just to wake them.
This doesn’t mean to punch them in the face or to pour freezing water on them but gently shaking them to inform them of their current situation works 60% of the time every time. But really it works. So, if you are a sleepwalker inform people you may be sleeping around (lol) of your condition and the precautions they should take if you were to do so. There is nothing to worry about so I can now safely drink up just as long as she wakes me up.
If you have any other questions, Google it.