It just so happens that Halloween is my least favorite holiday. While most guys love it because it is the one day of the year where girls can dress up like hussies, (and not be criticized to harshly) I see it as holiday lacking serious creativity in recent years. Albeit the holiday we celebrate today was created by the candy companies anyway.
It is easy for people to get the traditional scary costumes but those just come off as creepy now. Guys make fun of guys who go shirtless and girls talk ish about girls who dress skankier than they do. So, my list tries to highlight humorous pop culture figures throughout the last year. While everyone is busy thinking that they are going to be the only one dressed up like a guido/guidette, they will find plenty of other people who lack creativity. That being said, I would like to list my top ten Halloween costumes for this year.
10. Harvey from TMZ: This may be a tough costume to pull off because it limits itself to males with short and curly hair in order for it to be effective. But if some guy could execute it correctly it could be a big hit with the girl who already thought he was cute and was looking for a reason to talk to him and giggle. It would be cheap with the only purchase of a red coffee mug and solid polo shirt also.
9. The Cheerleading Coach from Glee: This lady has a hilarious character so if someone had the right personality, they could be the life of their high school Halloween kickback. You would need the standard Adidas track suit, a whistle, and to ask your hairdresser for a haircut like Ellen.
8. The Jet Blue Guy: You would need a really flamboyant personality to pull this character off but could really have some fun with it. You would wear a black shirt, black slacks, black apron, and a blue clip on tie. You could really go over the top by introducing props like a slide, emergency door, or a case of beer at the minimum.
7. Speidi: The perfect couple’s costume. If you and your significant other can pull off blonde wigs and tend to fight a lot, this one is for you. You are guaranteed to be the hit at your table with bottle service if you can rock the crystals, “H’s for Heidi,” and a flesh-colored beard for Spencer.
6. The Most Interesting Man in the World: This is the go-to costume for the young single male. All you would need is some hair dye and a good beard. The Dos Equis can be purchased at the bar you’re at and you are ready to go with conversation ice breakers and one liners. This is like the typical freshman’s dream costume complete with survival kit.
5. Tiger Woods and his harem: The possibilities with this costume are endless. You could have 12 girls with you, you could have a cardboard Escalade with a driver through the windshield, or you could go the traditional route as of late and just shoot 12 over par. While some girlfriends may not approve of your praising of his disloyalty, you are destined to get some laughs and a lot of group pictures.
4. Flo (the Progressive girl): Perfect costume for a lady who doesn’t need to show off her tatas to show that she is creative and knows how to cut a t-shirt into a belly shirt. The costume is self-explanatory and you can research the many hit catch phrases that have made Flo a part of 2010 laughter.
3. The Old Spice Guy: No, Not Ray Lewis because the last time he was at a party he shot a guy. I know, I was there in Decatur, Georgia Super Bowl weekend in 2000. But I digress, this would be perfect for a black guy with abs. Plenty of options with different variations from mustache, to clean shaven, to horse, to hot tub, to sweater around the neck. If you were a guy with a 6 pack I would not hate on you if you pulled this costume off because even if you are a doucher looking for a reason to take your shirt off, you are a creative and resourceful doucher at that.
2. Khourtney and Scott Kardashian: This is a costume I could see myself wearing. Whoever dresses like Scott would just need to get some bright clothes from Marshall’s and some LA Looks hair gel. (I recommend that anyone who purchases new clothes for Halloween that you tuck the tags and return it afterwards, I like to call it renting.) That combined with a smug look and you would be good to go. Good to go. The girlfriend could dress in new clothes from Dash, push little Mason around in a stroller, and talk in a monotone voice. This costume illustrates creativity and does not involve creepy fake blood or slutty boob tape.
1. Keenan Cahill (the lip-syncing kid from Youtube): Not only is this costume extremely timely and relevant it is destined to be the life of the party. You would need some glasses and have to fro your hair out a little bit but that’s pretty much it. Not only are this kid’s videos hilarious but he understands they are funny and does not take himself to seriously. I’ve researched the interviews and I think the would be honored if people went as him because he wants to be a star and nothing is stopping him, so I don’t think there is any reason to feel bad for the little guy. While you may not be as funny as him, if you can remember the lyrics to a few songs and incorporate his choreography you will have really drunken people laughing at your lip-syncing all night. If I decide to Halloweenize this year, this will most likely be my costume, in that case don’t take it and forget you even read #1.