In chronological order:
The start of the show was amazing with Em. Dark hair and dark lyrics are definitely his way back to success. The venue was sick, although RiRi’s outfit was not. The Li-lo bit was genius. My dude Ellen was hilarious as usual. Gaga looked fuggin dumb as usual. Each outfit was less practical and more horrendous than the next. But she finally did something worthy of reporting by thanking God and supporting our troops.
Bam Margera hashe the moshte dishgushting acshent I have ever heard. Kim K looked hot, I see you Ray-J and Reggie. I want a J Bieber Varsity jacket. Ke$ha is not cute and orange-glo didn’t make her any cuter. Trey Songz is tight at everything and I would have much rather have seen him perform over The Doucher Formally Known As Ursher. I thought he ruined the cool light show during his performance by getting in the way.
Katy Perry could have looked way cuter and Nikki Minoj well… She got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk, she got a donk. I wanna be Deadmau5′ hype man. I’m not a fan of the British chick with red hair. Tay-Swizz is just a sweetie pie that I want her to babysit my kids even though I’m not a big fan of that whole pale/red lipstick/wavy hair look. It also would have been way tighter if Yezzy did a collabo with her to make up for last year. Even though I’m mad cause he hasn’t done anything musically lately, Justin Timberlake looked SEXY!!!
Drizzy Drake’s performance was fancy huh? Congratulations to Swizz Beats for making a beat without a whistle. MJB is 43 and not cool anymore. The Colombian chick was annoying and Forever should have one best hip hop video. LVA alum, Neyo looked tight but is a d. Bruno Mars is soooooooooo tight?! I feel like I discovered him but soooooooooo tight. B.o.B really is the homie and I did not expect Hayley Williams to look like the love child of Vitamin C and Cyndi Lauper.
Who was the girl right after that performance with the same haircut as the Russian in Rocky IV? Looks like Bieber Fever is starting to get to someone’s head lol. Linkin Park’s performance was dope for the cinematography and they are still my favorite band ever. Good for you Cher. Gaga had beef carpacio yamaka on lol. Kanye’s performance was ehh but Clipse was tight.
In summary, this year’s VMAs were kinda bland. The Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon were more compelling, dramatic, and entertaining. The performances lacked creativity, the presenters lacked star power. And Chelsea Lately is in her 40s. And yes I text (not texted, I researched it) my vote for J Bieber for video of the year.
Btw World of Jenks is awesome.