I am not only a huge fan of basketball but also mediocrity. So, I decided to compile of the top 10 boringest ballers. In lieu of this list, I would also like to start recruiting for my NBA Fantasy League. If you would like to lose, I mean participate, please inquire within.
10. Arvydas Sabonis: V tops out the list for his mere abaility to pass. He headed the first wave of European players to come over. So, he pretty much changed the game as we see it today. He brought big man passing into the league but unfortunately was the only player in NBA history to actually have his height and his 40 be the same: 7.4.
9. Harvey Grant: Harvey was an NBA gypsy. He played and sat on a multitude of teams. He in fact wasn’t even the best in his family. His brother Horace, was even more medirocre than him but played on some Jordan teams and some Shaq/Penny teams and has a few rings to show off at family bbqs. He is most known for being the first person and last person to make Sport Specs cool.
8. Eddie Jones: #6 is to date the only Laker I ever liked. I think it was mainly because at the time I was going to through a big Team Jordan phase and he seemed like respectable dude. He kind of showed Kobe the ropes when he came over also. While I may not like that, it has to stand for something.
7. Cedric Ceballos: Big Ced had flava. He wasn’t the best athlete, didn’t do too many things well, but he looked good doin it. He had a bunch of TV cameos and is on the list because he is the resident DJ at Pure night club.
6. Mookie Blaylock: Mooooooooooookie! First of all, he has the tightest name on the list and is the inspiration for my second born son. But his name wasn’t enough to get on this exclusive list. He had the pleasure of playing on the Hawks with 2 of the top 5 best dunkers of all time at the same time. So, Mooooooooooookie is on the list because if you look closely at old highlight films of Spud Web and human highlight films of Nique he is the dude throwing the alley oops and outlet passes.
5. Malik Sealy: “Stacy Patton don’t pass.” He is the only player to actually portray a better player in a movie then he was in real life. He was the All-Star ball hog in the Whoopi Goldberg hit “Eddie.” Unfortunately, though he died at the peak of his career with the T-Wolves in a car accident.
4. Tom Gugliotta: The first goofy white boy of our generation. He paved the way for the future of Mid-Western White American Men. He was big and goofy and could shoot the three much like the rest of the state of Indiana and has the haircut to prove it. Without him, we never would have been blessed with guys like Mark Madsen or Luke Walton.
3. Antoine Walker: Probably the most talented player on the list. But that doesn’t really mean shit. I vividly remember riding my bike to Hollywood Video to rent NBA 98 with him on the cover just so I could play with him and Paul Pierce. And ever since that day his numbers were in decline. Yeah he won a few 3 pt contests but he was wack. He was so bad after that, that he brought the Madden curse to the NBA.
2. Jeff Hornacek: I think he was trying to be the Ken Griffey Sr. of the NBA. I think he was trying to play long enough to where he could play on the same team as his son at the same time. I think he was actually older than Jerry Sloan while he played too. He could shoot a little like most every other white guy of the era but I will give respect where respect is due. He was the 4th whitest player on the Jazz behind Greg Ostertag, John Stockton, and Karl Malone.
1. Kerry Kittles: Like everyone else that comes out of Villanova, he was straight overrated. He went high in the best draft ever! The same 96 draft that produced stars like AI, Ray Allen, Steve Nash, Kobe, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Jermaine O’Neal., Peja, and Starbury. But the worst thing is that homie can give Sam Casell a run for the lack of money he still has for ugliest player ever in the league.