Top Ten End-Zone Celebrations of All Time

In this dead week of football where analysts talk about the Super Bowl all week and begin to talk about the Pro Bowl Sunday morning, I feel as it is best for me to fall in line with with them and instead of touching on the more serious nature that is the Super Bowl and instead talk about the more celebratory things in football like dancing, spiking, and joy.

Whether they are premeditated and choreographed or on impulse and impromptu, we as fans love end-zone celebrations. Whether it is our team, in which case anything and everything goes or the opposing team/team we hate and we think they should be flagged for “excessive celebration” we are enthralled with these tea-parties in the end-zone. I know I love them and hope you do as well, so here are my top ten end-zone celebrations of all time.

10. DeSean Jackson

Maybe, because this is still fresh in my memory that I am somewhat biased but I really enjoyed this celebration. Even though I cannot stand DeSean Jackson, he turned an average” 10 yard out route” into a run that could not have been caught by anyone in the NFL let alone the mediocre Dallas secondary. Although there was no preconception of what he would do there was an eency weency amount of taunting mixed in with his somersault, which I can appreciate.

9. Terrell Owens

No, it is not a Jabawockee. It is one of the many celebrations brought to you by Terrell Owens. If he spent less time thinking about what he was going to do after he catches the ball, I guarantee he would free up some room in that large brain of his for concentrating on actually catching the ball. This wasn’t his best ever but I liked the “popping and locking” and can never get enough of it.

8. Chad Johnson

Yes, at this point he was Chad Johnson not Chad Ochocinco. However, he announced yesterday that he is legally changing his back to Chad Johnson in case anyone was worried and wants to start putting stuff up on eBay. The Batman to TO’s Robin is also well-known for his celebrations and short-arming passes but we all love those now rare occasions when he does eventually reach the end-zone, waiting with anticipation for what he will do.

7. Randy Moss

Even though Randy isn’t exactly in the height of his career, at one point he was the biggest threat on the field with his ability to get behind and above any corner and safety and he did it plenty of times throughout the former half of his career. This wasn’t one of his best catches but it was one of his best celebrations. I am usually a stickler for sportsmanship, but in this case I differ with Joe Buck. Pretending to moon and actually doing it are completely different and for that I don’t mind much.

6. Steve Johnson

While this season, Steve Johnson may be better known for the touchdown celebration that never happened because he dropped balls that could not have been thrown any better. However, I feel he has a lot of potential to be a great receiver and bring us more clever touchdown celebrations like this one.

5. Terrell Owens

This dance alone has balls. To be able to mock Ray Lewis and live to tell about it is reason enough to make the list. But this celebration is also near and dear to my heart because at Kyle Brewer’s wedding this summer, I taught the exact same dance to newly appointed USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden.

4. Braylon Edwards

Not only did Braylon Edwards save my fantasy team on several occasions this year he inspired me with this “dougie” to teach under privileged children “how to dougie.” It was perfect timing in that he was able to “dougie” on the defender and when the music kicks in just at the right time. While he doesn’t always make the best decisions behind the wheel and he may no longer be a J-E-T Jet after this offseason but I always had a man-crush on his beard.

3. Lance Moore

First of all, the title of the video is pretty funny lol. I am a sucker for hip-hop culture and anytime athletes embrace their urban roots and I am right there rooting for them. Lance Moore also was a good pick-up for me in fantasy this year with Reggie Bush out and he had plenty of opportunities “to jerk it” more often.

2. Terrell Owens

This one I especially like because it was on Dallas. On the incurring possession Dallas would drive down the field and score on an Emmitt Smith run of which he would take back the star, so to speak. TO would answer back on a second touchdown only to get blindsided which I also especially liked.

1. Joe Horn

The best part about this celebration is not that it was creative or premeditated but that Joe Horn had a flip-phone. And because of this celebration he will never be recognized for being a substantial receiver in the NFL but he will forever be remembered for being Joe “on the” Horn. And all of it almost went out the window when he was having trouble finding the phone he placed there prior to game time. And I always wondered if he had placed another phone in the other end-zone in case he scored at that end.

24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the NHL Winter Classic

HBO is a leader is the sports documentary world with big hits in “Hard Knocks,” “24/7 Pacquioa/Whoever,” and now a newfound rivalry between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Washington Capitals. The main characters in the drama are NHL stars Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin.

This mini-series showcases the road to the 2011 NHL Winter Classic of the these two Eastern Conference rivals playing outdoors at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. HBO is allowed unlimited access to both benches and locker rooms giving us uncensored insight into the inner workings of the rivalry.

The Pens are one of the league’s best teams with the league’s best player. Sid “The Kid” gets a lot of flack for being kind of a “pretty boy” for whining and not wanting to mix it up in years past. However, on multiple occasions this season Sid has dropped the gloves to prove the he is not a pansy and that not only can he score on you but he can pull a sweater of your head and punch you a couple of times too.

The Pens are led by young Head Coach, Dan Bylsma who won the Stanley Cup with the Pens only 4 months after being called up from their minor league system. He is the NHL’s version of Josh McDaniels except he actually wins games and he isn’t a doucher. He brings a fun and intense atmosphere to the team in by having a monthly shootout contest in which the last player to score has to grow out his mustache until the next month’s practice.

Hockey players are different than other new-age athletes. They have a stereotype of being tougher than other players. They are allowed and encouraged to fight and fight well. The grow out funny mustaches and beard combinations. They add the letter “Y” to the end of someones name to better identify themselves through nick of name. These hockey player traits are also brought forth by the struggling Washington Capitals.

Russian phenom Alexander “The Great” Ovechkin wears the “C” for the Caps. He isn’t as corporate as his young counterpart. He has the signature missing teeth, scratchy beard, of which he recently shaved due to his new deal with Gillette. AO is known for his flashy play and playboy nature off the ice. He is known well by the ladies in competing cities as well as the bartenders who keep fine Russian vodkas in the well for him.

The Caps are stuck in a bit of a rut right now that Head Coach Bruce Boudreau (who reminds me of an angry roly poly) cannot seem to pull his players out of. Losing streaks, spreading flu viruses, and poor defense have kept the Caps a foot the bottom of the Eastern Conference this year, which adds to the building competitive antimosity towards New Years day when they enter into the Winter Classic.

The Caps got kids in the nurse’s office and the Pens are trying to fend off others till they can get back to full strength with the return of league leading point getter Evgeni Malkin. The both have their work cut out for them as they are taped taping their sticks on their skate to playing on the pond outside in the Burgh.

It is outdoor played games like this that I feel brings the NHL back to where it should be as a top 4 sport in America that has been taken over by UFC, NASCAR, soccer, and golf. The NHL has also implemented a playground system of selecting their 2011 All Star Team. The team’s capitans will select their remaining players in hopes of hosting a more competitive game with a playoff atmosphere rather than that of an exhibition.

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=543059

Obviously hockey isn’t as popular as football in America, but this is a great show if you like hockey or can at least tolerate it. It is on Wednesdays at 7pm on HBO and I highly suggest you DVR it. Most people who watched Hard Knocks weren’t avid Jets/football fans they were just people who liked getting an insider’s view into a cool reality show.

Top Ten Quarterbacks of All Time

I know there is going to be a lot of room for debate on this Top Tensday Wednesday because this list could go many different ways but I do appreciate the mutual respect as it is my opinion and I don’t deserved to be lynched for not agreeing with all of you. That being said I encourage feedback pertaining to your differing discretions. Most of my lists tend to take a more modern spin and naturally so because I am obviously more familiar with my generation than I am with past.

This list will highlight the characteristics that make ten dudes ten of the best of all time at the most infamous position in all of sports. I mean there aren’t exactly people going around making lists for the best Left Tackles and best Punters of all time. It will take into account their collegiate, professional, and off the field skills as well. So without further a due, I give you my Top Ten Quarterbacks of All Time.

10. Joe Namath: Broadway Joe epitomized the position and was a great leader with great confidence. Dude would show up to games drunk and still drop 400 yards passing. His aura and mild arrogance gave him the mental edge that he may have lacked physically, as he was able to get in the opposition’s head by guaranteeing a win. If you ladies don’t recall his playing days you may be more familiar with this…

9. Kurt Warner: Now, even I know Kurt Warner is not one of the top ten but something compelled me to throw him a bone, he probably isn’t even in the top twenty realistically but whatever. He went from bagging groceries to wearing a Super Bowl ring in a matter of a few short years of which, I was at the game so I might be a little biased. He has amazing footwork as you have seen on DWTS, he throws wearing a receiver gloves which is tough because it gives a little tack to the ball and he is good Christian family man who I admire.

8. Troy Aikman: As much as I didn’t want to put a Cowboy on here I had to. It was either him or Roger Staubach so I went with Troy Aikman  for his commentating pros. He is one of my favorite analysts for his validity and high-level of experience. He is a Cali kid who adopted his redneck nature with his short stint at Oklahoma and obviously in Dallas. With help from Michael Irvin (The U) and Emmitt Smith he led Dallas to winning the title of America’s team which is currently up for grabs. And above all he just looks like a quarterback.

7. Johnny Unitas: Johnny U may have been the most talented quarterback of all time or at least that’s what NFL Films tells me. His “golden arm” was a hose and was actually clocked at throwing a football faster than an Andy Roddick serve. I made that up. He was a big part of “the best game ever played” between his Baltimore Colts and my New York Giants, where came out on top in sudden death. He also had a buttload of MVP’s between the many different football leagues there were at the time. He also is the inspiration for Spike’s haircut in “Little Giants.”

6. Tom Brady: The new spokesperson for Uggs and Justin Bieber haricuts was not always destined to date supermodels and live this rock-star lifestyle. He was drafted 199th overall in the 6th round by the Pats out of Michigan. He was drafted as a backup to Drew Bledsoe and surely passed him as he is one of the best pocket passers ever. He can’t move that well outside of the pocket but he has uncanny accuracy. I think if he ever leaves Boston for a flashier city then Dan Aykroyd and the guy from “Home Alone” would hunt him down and kidnap him like they did in “Celtic Pride.”

5. Peyton Manning: “Let’s go insurance adjusters! Let’s go”! He is probably the smartest quarterback of all time. He watches more video than an unemployed construction worker with a Redbox gift card. I love watching his big and clunky feet high step around the pocket as he drills passes down the middle of the field. I don’t know if it is sub-par receiving core this year or what but it seems as though he may be on the tail end of his career much like Kobe lol. He will probably be a good analyst and still has some great commericals, here are some of the best…

4. Dan Marino: The best quarterback to never win a ring. The best player to ever come out of Pitt. The best player to ever wear orange and teal. I wish he was on the undefeated 72 Dolphins team too but he probably wouldn’t have been able to play all the way through “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” then. He had ridiculous stat sheets that never will really matter and it is all Ray Finkle’s fault (saracsm font).

3. John Elway: The best thing that ever happened to Denver. I would have been happier if he would have stayed with the Yankees when they drafted him in 81 but “shoulda/coulda/woulda” right? It seemed like he was going to be the next Marino when he and Terrell Davis had a late run in their careers winning a few games with Mike Shanahan. I don’t really have much else to say about him, he’s kinda boring like most things out of Denver.

2. Brett Favre: Peyton was the smartest and Brett is by far the dumbest. I heard he used to break up fraternity parties in college, beat the shit out of all the brothers, and then throw his party in their house. He absolutely ruined his legacy several times by going to the Jets, made up for it a little bit by going to the NFC ship, and then ruined it again by stringing the Vikings along this year again. I lost a lot of respect for him with his selfishness both on the field and off the field.

1. Joe Montana: Or as some people know him – Joe Montaegna. He is the combination of all the preceding quarterbacks’ good characteristics. He had Brett’s gun, Elway’s rings, Dan’s stats, Peyton’s smartness, Brady’s accuracy, Johnny U’s build, Troy’s competition, Kurt’s kids, and Joe’s charisma. He did it all. He won it all. And now he has kids doing it all in his footsteps as he watches their games in his “Skechers Shape-ups.” Not to mention he played with Rudy at Notre Dame.