Doppelgänger Week 2011

Doppelgänger: ˈdä-pəl-ˌgaŋ-ər, definition: a ghostly counterpart of a living person. This simple German phrase took the Facebook by storm last year and it is bound to blow up even bigger this year. It is the one week of the year where people all over the world change the profile picture to the person or celebrity that people tell them they look like, they think they look like, or the person they wish they looked like.

I have been waiting for Doppelgänger Week on the Facebook for some time now for multiple reasons. The first being I am old and with age comes less frequent pictures. I need a new profile picture and haven’t had very many candid moments that were captured on film. The second reason is that I am a huge creeper and like to see the choices by some people for their ghostly counterpart, both accurate and aspirationaL.

I get it, I mean no one wants to put a picture of someone who us uglier than them for their Doppelgänger but at the same time we as a society don’t want to come off as conceited by putting up a picture of Brad Pitt and Meghan Fox because they have the same hair color. I think they whole idea of Doppelgängers should just be changed to good-looking celebrity that we maybe kinda look like and wish we looked like more.

I also feel like I have a knack for saying who assimilating people to their Doppelgänger and solicited my services on the Facebook yesterday. 5 lucky contestants were chosen as I will try to match them up with a fair Doppelgänger. I know now that some will be better than others but you can be the judge and let me know how well you think I did. First up is model/actor/red-shirt quartback/fraternity brother, Zack Kay.

Channing Tatum

Wow, I really feeling gay right now. To his credit, Zack’s a good lookin’ dude but then again he is wearing Ed Hardy so you have to dock some points but I think my choice was pretty good. Next, up is an even bigger hunk. Your Student Body President, Mr. David Rapoport.

Stephen Colbert/Bob Saget

That one was tough! I was Google imaging Colbert for a while and then tried some others including Bob Saget and settled with this picture. I was looking for younger pictures of both of them but it was tough for these two to look as young and presidential as D-Rap does. Now for a lady. Caity Brewer is a San Diego native so I tried to stick with the So-Cal beachy theme…

Kate Bosworth

Girls are a lot harder than guys I think but the one in the middle from “Blue Crush” is close enough. Next up is Senor Santana. Santana is conveniently the man of many faces. He has a Doppelgänger for just about everyday of the week but I am going to stick to just Monday-Thursday.

Brian Wilson

Silent Bob

Kenny Powers

Lance Agostino

Doppelgänger week has to be such a fun week for a man with such facial versatility to go with his cunning wit. He should be an international man of mystery. Last but not least is fellow blogger-extraordinare, Topher Abelarde.

Vinny Chase (short hair)

Toph was the hardest of all of them, so I chose the picture with goggles to act as an optical illusion, thus validating my choice more.
http://cabelarde.wordpress.com/

All of these were chosen at their discretion but without their input. They were completely objective and I was not influenced in any way by Cam Newton’s father, Cecil. Obviously, some are better than others but I can’t win em all. If you would like to featured in the Doppelgänger next year please make it known now as seats are filling up and they are projected to be sold out by 1/31/12, so make sure you get yours fast.

Paying College Athletes

I come to you this warm January morning giddy with excitement because I get to ramble on a subject that truly interests me. It involves college sports, politics, economics, and free swag which is right up my alley. The issue of paying college athletes has been up for debate ever since LaLa Bonilla tried to convince her boyfriend, Jesus Shuttlesworth to go to the school of her crew’s choice instead of going to Big State University.

The issue has recently heated back up with National Champion and Heisman Trophy Winner, Cam Newton being involved in the alleged scandal of soliciting schools for the highest “pay for play” scenario possible. There are the traditionalists that believe that college is for students and that they should not be paid. Then there are the people who feel they should be paid just as much as professional athletes if it is equivalent to their value to the university.

I normally tend to side with the old school conservatives with my mentor, Tony Kornheiser but his predecessor, Bill Simmons has led me to new water. I don’t think student athletes should be negotiating contracts with schools and they should not deal breakers on why a student chooses a particular university. However, I do feel as though students should be compensated for the amount of time they put into their sport.

Many student athletes are recruited to go to college to play sports and for many of those students it is the only way they can financially attend college, by means of athletic scholarship. They are sometimes given free room and board which covers tuition, dorm, and a meal plan. In most instances students have to come out-of-pocket for other necessities and small luxuries that they cannot afford on their parents’ low income. Things as simple as books, a computer, school supplies, and even a new first day of school outfit become hard to come by for some families.

I certainly am not one for another form of socialized welfare for families to be able to afford their child’s tuition. Financial Aid is available to millions of people who do not take advantage of it and drawing from that pot doesn’t solve the issue. I believe that if student athletes should be paid a monthly stipend for their time and contributions to the university. Some students bring in millions of dollars in revenue to a particular school and are given nothing more than free swag.

While every young athlete loves free stuff, it is not liquid, you are not allowed to sell or trade any university given products. You cannot go to a tattoo artist and say “how about I pay you in jersey”? Oh wait…With a T Mobile Sidekick cell phone bill to pay, many of these athletes have no income of which to draw from to pay for simple amenities. If they were compensated around $2,000 a month they would have plenty of money to go to In-N-Out every once in a while instead of eating at the DC. They could afford to take that flu honey they’ve been trying to holler at in Dayton to a movie and maybe even spring for Yogurtland to seal the deal.

Now, where does all this money come from? Whether the school is privatized or a state-run institution, I feel the money should come from their schools general athletic fund. If a school has a sport that generates revenue and is profitable than it should pay its employees. If the women’s field hockey team lost money than it should be cut from being a Varsity sport and if students want to play, they can revitalize it as a club sport with paying dues.

College athletics are a business and any successful business knows it is only good as its employees. If employees have financial issues where they cannot fully focus on “work” then the odds are against them to perform at their highest ability. That then hurts not only the student but affects the school’s success as well. Obviously, higher education isn’t in the best economic state right now but if school’s want to profit from their students’ talents they should show them some good faith.

Here’s is where my idea can possibly turn into a successful slippery slope. If students from lower-income households are able to get a college education and come out of college with money saved, there is a better chance they will be successful in the workplace than if they were to come out of college with nothing but a University Studies degree, a bunch practice gear, and the pressing temptation to start “slangin’ rocks on the cona with the rest of dem boyz.”

We are all naive as to think that many top collegiate athletes are not recruited without adding in some extra incentives into the picture. It may not be cash for the student but it may be a rent-free house or car payment for Reggie Bush’s parents that would allow Reggie’s parents to buy him some Air Max 95s for his birthday (I also have a birthday coming up if they so wanted to.

Or in some blatant cases it may be “straight cash homey.” Where the student or a family member negotiates on the student’s behalf for X amount of dollars. With these types of conversations occurring every day it only hurts the team as a whole. If Cam Newton is getting paid $250,000 to come to play football, how does his walk-on offensive lineman feel when he is barely on scholarship scraping by at a private school that he really cannot afford?

This is my biggest issue. I am all about fairness and leveling the playing field and I don’t believe it is right to pay some athletes and not others. That is like Pat Riley saying “we are going to pay LeBron, Bosh, and Wade all of our money and if anyone else wants to come play, we’ll hook you up with some sweatpants.” By the way, I don’t like them but “The Heatles” nickname is genius.

Even if a student wanted to get a job while in college it becomes nearly impossible with time restrictions limited to going to school full-time and playing a sport full-time. If they cut back on their studies and their grades drop they cannot play. If they skip practice, then they can’t play. If they decide not to sleep and work instead, then all three areas drop significantly. It is the age-old double edged sword where they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

Now that I think about it, this is one of my more professional blogs, if anyone wants to site me in any papers feel free to do so and I will buy you a beer.

Ducks Lose, Roll Tide?

Well, the 37 days leading up to the BCS National Championship are finally over. However, I come to you today reporting my sorrows of a tough loss for my Ducks. “I love my Ducks.” I consider myself to be the biggest Ducks fan that has never set foot in the state amongst the tall firs or at least in Clark County. I am not a recent bandwagon hopper, I’ve been quackin’ since the days of Joey Harrington, Luke Jackson/Ridnour. They still may have had their Nikes on back then but it was nothing like the hype they got this year with their 400 + uniform combinations and viral videos.

Today is the calm after the storm (if that even exists). I think it is fair to say that this may have been one of the better National Championship games in a long time or at least since 2005 with Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, and Vince Young lighting up the national stage. It was a great game won by a field goal as time ran out and that I don’t think anyone expected it to turnout the way that it finally did.

Vegas had the over/under at 74 points of which they fell far short. This game was supposed to be the fastest and most dynamic offense ever vs. the most dynamic player at the quarterback position ever. I think everyone expected the offenses to just light up the scoreboard and it would come down to whoever made big plays on defense that would win the game and this is exactly what happened.

Auburn’s defense came ready out the gates hitting the Ducks with early sacks and interceptions disallowing them to get their fast-paced and no huddle offense to affect them. They set the tone from the start as we saw mere glimpses of what the Ducks could do when they got in their zone by running it on first and second down and letting their receivers fly on third and short with confidence that they could go for it on fourth and short if needed.

It was this air of confidence that led them up and the down the field all season long which resulted in their record of 12-0 as they averaged almost a point for every minute they played this season. It seemed as though the bigger SEC defense was able to get to the quicker yet smaller Oregon offense by limiting big run plays by LaMichael James and Darron Thomas. Not allowing them to break through to their secondary is what won the game for the Auburn Tigers/War Eagles.

I still don’t know why they think they are cool enough to have two mascots but that is another story for another day. Cam Newton wasn’t exactly the player that everyone thought he was going to be last night either. With comparison to Vince Young playing style and athletic ability most people suspected him to run all over Oregon’s linebackers of which Cam had 3 inches and 30 pounds on. That wasn’t necessarily the case though as Oregon’s Defensive Coordinator, Nick Aliotti, threw a lot of different looks and packages at him confusing the quarterback that was able to do whatever he wanted all season long.

Auburn needed someone to step and make a play on defense and it was Demetruce McNeal that I believe won the game for Auburn. It was McNeal that made the play of the night where “The Truce” (as I have now dubbed him) brought down Oregon WR, Lavasier Tunei after a 43 yard pass at the 3 yard line. The Auburn defense would go on to stop Oregon from getting in the end zone after four straight run plays. If Oregon scores here they go for two and it would likely have been 19-19 with 2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Bad plays calls by Chip Kelly to try and punch a smaller QB and RB through a much larger and agressive defensive led to the Duck downfall.

The Ducks got the ball back and charged downfield and scored and got the extra point thanks to the sick hippy WR, Jeff Maehl. With their star player and Heisman trophy not playing up to par with a possible leg injury other Auburn players needed to step up. And it was Freshman RB, Michael Dyer. Dyer will forever be known for his play where everyone thought he was down and stopped playing only for him to roll over and keep going for more yards. Dyer would run it again for another controversial touchdown which was reluctantly overturned and marked at the half yard line.

Not scoring the touchdown and having to kick the field goal may have actually been a better situation for  Auburn. If the Touchdown counted there would have been :10 left on the clock for Oregon to possibly run a kickoff back. Auburn would probably kicked it out of the end zone or out-of-bounds to eliminate that but you never know what college kickers are going to do. So, us Quackers could only hope to summon a replay of Boise State’s Kyle Brotzman to shank the 19 yard kick. To our demise, that was not case as Auburn Kicker, Wes Byrum split the uprights with :02 left on the clock ticked off as Auburn would go on to win the BCS National Championship.

I am still a little bitter so I am now going to go on my rant to say that Auburn cheated by paying off Cam Newton. We all know they did and we are naive to think that paying off families through boosters and different bank accounts doesn’t exist. Everyone does it, so Auburn is not alone. I for one think that college players should receive not salaries but stipends correlated to their football team’s value to the university but that also is an issue for another day. But Cam cheated and I wish they would have had better evidence to convict him so the Ducks (who get paid in tons of free Nike shwag) would have had better chances at being Champs.

The State of the BCS Address

What a crazy weekend for college football? It is weekends like this that hold collegiate athletics above professional athletics on my shelves of sports right below Buzz’s tarantula. Boise State was upset by UNR (not Nevada) UNR because of a limp-legged kicker who will be the highest scoring football player of all time. This just furthers my opinion that we should shoe the place-kickers out of football and let soccer players kick point afters.

My dude, Randy Shannon, is now filing his unemployment claims after being fired from The U. On paper he didn’t look that good going 7-5 this year but they had a tough schedule and had a lot of injuries. Not only did he better the image of the “Thug U,” he did his most important job by recruiting kids with dreads in South Florida. He then took those kids from the hood and produced the third highest graduation rate behind Army and Navy.

Auburn overtook Oregon’s top spot with their win over Bama. Oregon smashed Mike Stoops and a good U of A team but it all really comes down to this weekend. Both of them play good teams in South Carolina and Oregon State in an away Civil War game. I pray my Ducks beat the confederacy but I would not be surprised if in-state rival upset them. Cam Newton is too dirty to lose and God knows he probably has some sort of personal monetary incentive for making it to Glendale.

If one of them were to lose I believe TCU should be able to play in BCS Championship regardless of their conference. Let’s just say they have a better defense than another professional team in the greater Dallas/Ft. Worth area. If they don’t lose they should be heading to So-Cal to play Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl who they will handle with ease.

“The BCS does not define TCU, TCU defines the BCS.” Says TCU Athletic Director, Mike Del Conte. Most people were shocked that TCU decided to join the Big Eat because of the geographic unnaturality of it. I think I pulled a “George W. Bush” and made that word up but Spell Check didn’t say shit, so whatever. The average distance from TCU’s student union to Big East schools is around 1,200 miles. That may seem like a lot but TCU isn’t exactly walking distance from Wyoming either, so that doesn’t really bother me.

The Sugar Bowl has dibs in which they decide to play in the Sugar Bowl. It will most likely be the battle of the 6th and 7th ranked teams with the 3rd and 4th best quarterbacks with Arkansas and Ryan Mallet vs. The Ohio State University and Terrell Pryor. I foresee the Buckeyes coming out on top because Ryan Mallet looks like a redneck and TP has a fresh high top fade.

I think the Orange Bowl will have a few trees in it with Stanford playing the ACC champion VA Tech. This would be an awesome game with the relentless power of Andrew Luck and his tough smart kids vs. the shifty and quick Hokies. If Stanford wears the black unis, then they win. If Va Tech wears their Nike Pro Combats, then they win. If for some weird reason they both were all black than the game will have a rain delay and upon the return, the game will result in a stalemate in which the score will be settled by a game of Connect Four that Stanford’s long-snapper will lead to victory.

If potential Big East Champion Pitt/WestVirgina/UConn doesn’t get their Vitamin C in the Orange Bowl they will be partying in the Fiesta Bowl against the overrated Big 12. I’m guessing we’ll see Pitt because I like Larry Fitz and Oklahoma because I like Adrian Peterson. If Larry Fitz’s Dad and Adrian Petersn’s Dad got in a fight, then I would take All-Day’s Dad all day. Thus, Oklahoma wins the Fiesta Bowl.

Boise State will ending up playing in their hometown Humanitarian Bowl against UNR again and will probably beat the Pack by 31 points but it will have come too little too late. No one really cares about the other bowls like the Poinsettia, Fight the Hunger, or Las Vegas so I don’t want to go to in depth on those. Besides, someone will probably lose and throw off the list and 35 minutes I took to write this. Go Ducks, Jon Grudens, Horn Frogs, Buckeyes, Hokies, and Adrian Peterson’s Dad.